


Stand clear of the closing doors

by westofnowhere



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bffs Roxas and Demyx, Dating, Falling in love on public transport, First Kiss, Idiots in Love, Lots of talk of brunch, M/M, New Relationship, New York City, No Plot/Plotless, Roxas has a huge family, Slice of Life, Vaguely described sex, background Final Fantasy characters, background Sora/Riku - Freeform, consumption of alcohol, especially ignoring KH3's epilogue, everyone is on the LGBT spectrum, gay staring experiences on the subway, join me in the ignoring the epilogue club, plotless romance, theater kid Roxas, zealously ignoring important plotpoints
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-10-27 18:45:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17772221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westofnowhere/pseuds/westofnowhere
Summary: How do you fall in love with someone you've only ever seen once? And only when you were 7? Roxas wasn't sure how he managed and he wouldn't say he'd call it love but it was a strange sort of fascination. But life moved on and Roxas learned to move on as well.Mostly.But the thing about being an adult now and living in a large city that sometimes, somehow, you're bound to run into the very person you've only seen once and never thought you'd see again.And from there? Well, anything was possible from there.





	1. Gay staring subway experience

**Author's Note:**

> hey you guys welcome to 2005 when Kingdom hearts was still relevant. What's that you say? It's relevant again in 2019?? get out of here, no way!
> 
> I kinda proofread this but I have a habit of rereading my own stuff and proofreading continuously so bear with me. Things might change.
> 
> I love the trope of falling in love on public transport...At least in fiction. In reality you hide on your phone and under headphones and never speak to anyone ever.

When Roxas was a child, he always dreamed of living in the city. His parents had taken him there only once, when he was about 7, but he was always struck with the memories of large, glassy monoliths and the bustle of all kinds of people as they went about their day. He remembered the smell of hot chocolate and pretzels and the bright neon flashes of huge billboards high above as they displayed the latest fashion. He remembered the cars and the trains and all those people. His parents grumbled about the crowds but Roxas, for his own part, loved it.

Even then, he loved to people watch and as they sat on a bench in the huge park that overtook nearly half the city, he was able to really study the people passing by. Some jogged, maybe with a stroller or maybe with a dog, headphones nestled over their ears and a tape player strapped to their waists. Some walked casually, chatting with a friend or by themselves, immersed in their own thoughts. There were all kinds of people that passed through the park that day with all kinds of differences but the one that Roxas noticed the most was the wild and varying shades of hair. He remembered seeing an older boy with hair as blue as the sky above them and a young woman who looked about 25 with hair a pale, baby blue that reminded Roxas of his baby room. There were pinks and purples and so many blues that Roxas’ own blonde seemed so very, very boring in comparison.

But what Roxas remembered the most was the red. In a sea of so many colors, the bright red stood out as if it was a fire itself. It seemed to call to him somehow, even distracting Roxas from his very delicious sea salt popsicle as he stared through the crowd. It was magnetic, that red, drifting through the crowd and Roxas saw nothing else but that red and the boy who the red belonged to. Magnetic, was the right word, even if Roxas didn’t actually know that word at 7. Red hair like spiky fire and eyes as green as spring grass. The boy was laughing about something…something Roxas wished he could hear, willfully ignoring his ice cream as it dripped onto his fingers.

He was drawing nearer now and Roxas could hear his voice and he let his head tilt, still staring almost unashamedly.

“Oh Roxas, honey, your ice cream is dripping,” his mother’s voice cut into Roxas’ reverie and just like that he snapped out of his daze to stare at his hands.

“Sorry momma…”

“It’s alright honey, here,” she reached over, digging out a tissue from her purse and proceeding to clean off his fingers while Roxas let his eyes rest on their hands, almost guiltily. It was probably good that his mother cut into his staring because all in all, it was probably creepy to stare at a stranger.

When Roxas ventured another peek up, the red haired boy was almost eyelevel, passing by their bench with his tall and rather lanky father. Roxas must have made a noise but suddenly those bright green eyes landed squarely on him and he felt his world stutter to a halt. He couldn’t hear his mother crooning something to him or his father grumbling about the drive back home. All he saw were those eyes and that hair. Another noise betrayed Roxas before he could stop himself and the red head grinned suddenly, giving Roxas a wink before his father grabbed him by the hand, disappearing into the crowd.

To this day, Roxas remembered that red hair, and green eyes and practically blinding grin. And maybe it was one of the little side motivator as to why Roxas chose to move to the city almost as soon as he had the money and secured a job. Of course, he’d be foolish to actually think that red haired boy would A. even remember him or B. even be around the city anymore. It was huge and teaming with life and Roxas didn’t actually hold out any hope that he’d run into the owner of that blinding grin ever again.

Still, Roxas was nearly 26 now and both lived and worked in the city proper. It turned out having a mom with connections to the theater industry could theoretically help her child get their foot in the door. And it more than theoretically helped. Roxas, of course, couldn’t just let himself coast in without relying on his own merits so did his damn best to get through college with flying colors. That helped. As did his accrued knowledge of lighting design and Roxas got the job he never really thought he’d ever get.

His mother had cried when he moved and his father insisted that if he ever needed anything…ever… they were just a phone call away. And Roxas missed them quite a lot but it was…nice. It was nice to have his own place that he could decorate how he wanted and his own routine that wasn’t dictated by anyone else.

Roxas would wake up early, stumble to the bathroom and stand in the shower for a good half hour, sometimes almost falling asleep under the running water. He’d eat, pack his bag for the day and run off to the subway because if there was anything living in the city had taught him, was that driving was for lunatics and that his driver’s license was mostly for show and for booze. If he REALLY needed it, he could bum a ride from a friend but Roxas didn’t leave the city much and when he did, public transport was usually his go-to.

“You’re officially a city kid now, Rox,” his friend Hayner had teased him once, making a light move to punch the air, “even Pence has a car.”

Roxas shrugged. “Cars are for polluters, now get off the stage. The stars are rehearsing.”

Hayner had laughed at him, cradling a long coil of wire before stumbling backstage, letting the coil slowly unfurl behind him. Roxas would have to scold him on his carelessness later.

And at this point in his life, Roxas didn’t even really WANT a car. The subway was just fine by him, even if sometimes it was too crowded or too noisy or too smelly. For a people watcher however, the subway was the prime watching grounds for all sorts of neat and interesting people. Roxas liked the buskers, stopping if he had time to listen and tipping as often as he could. He practically became a regular and after months of this, snagged quite a nice friendship with a taller, green eyed brunette.

This morning, Roxas found the busker already set up in his usual spot, sitar nestled lovingly in his lap. He spotted Roxas before all of him was even down the escalator and eagerly waved him over. Roxas couldn’t help the faint smile that broke his features, adjusting his backpack and trotting over.

“Mornin’, Dem. How’s the music business?”

The young man, whose full name was Demyx, beamed sheepishly. “What can I say, Rox, loving that spotlight,” he snickered and Roxas ‘pffftt’ed at him under his breath. Demyx’ sheepish grin remained.

“You just don’t appreciate my genius, Roxas,” he sniffed theatrically. Roxas tutted.

“You know for a fact that’s not it. I keep telling you to come try out.”

That sheepish grin turned nervous. “Isn’t that abuse of your power?”

“What? No. I said, ‘come try out.’ Not ‘come in and I’ll give you a job’, Dem. It’s your own merits. ‘Sides, what makes you think I have that power to abuse anyway? Not like I’m the director.”

Demyx sucked in his cheeks. “I’m…not good a memorizing things, Rox. This is more my speed.”

Roxas sighed. They’d had this conversation several times already and he should have known that this would still be Demyx’ answer even if he hoped his friend had reconsidered. Still, he supposed it was true. He couldn’t actually imagine Demyx on stage in a professional setting. He’d likely be a mess. But that wouldn’t stop Roxas from trying to think of ways of helping his friend out. Busking was no way to live.

This morning he was running a bit late though, so he dug around his wallet, shoving a $50 into Demyx’ hands.

“Call me, okay? We’ll talk later.”

Demyx gaped at him, peering at the money between his fingers. “Roxas...”

“It’s cool. Just…call me alright?”

Demyx nodded after a moment, sheepish grin back on his face.

“Th…thank you…”

“You bet,” Roxas nodded, giving Demyx a little wave, “you’ll have to play me your new composition next time, alright?”

“You bet,” Demyx echoed and Roxas snorted, turning on his heel and running for the train. He hated being late.

The train wasn’t packed but was full enough for there to not be any open seats. Roxas didn’t mind much, leaning against a pole by the doors, arm wrapped around it to stop himself from wobbling as the train jolted into motion. The trip itself wasn’t particularly long but it was long enough to allow Roxas to plan out some things especially in regards to work. When he’d normally people watch, Roxas let himself to stare at the screen of his phone, digging out a stylus and scribbling on the screen. The cues had changed so he’d need to tweak his own cues and they had moved some of the marks so Roxas would have to adjust. It was no big deal really, you had to be flexible about this kind of thing.

Roxas stared at his phone so intently that he barely even noticed that someone had wheeled a bike onto the train at the next stop, stopping to the side of the doors and grabbing the pole just above Roxas’ head.

The loud speaker dinged above them, blurting out some garbled nonsense followed by “STAND CLEAR OF THE CLOSING DOORS” before the train jolted into movement again. Roxas still had some time. The hand above his head slid slightly before adjusting and Roxas shifted to give the other person more space as said person muttered a quiet apology.

Roxas replied with a “’S okay,” without even looking up from his screen and shifted again, making sure he wasn’t hogging the pole to himself. Other people needed balance too.

He was so focused on his scribbling that Roxas nearly missed his stop as the train ground to a halt at 42nd street, the voice on the intercom garbling out some gibberish that was just enough to snap Roxas into the moment. He fumbled with his stylus, shoving it back into his phone and just barely managed to squeeze through the doors before they closed in his face. And it was in that moment of panic and disorder that Roxas saw…or THOUGHT he saw…a bright flash of red. He stared, blinked and just like that, it was gone.

Honestly, he was being dumb. Loads of people had red hair and being so fixated on someone he saw only once when he was 7 was ridiculous. Frowning at himself, Roxas took the escalator steps 2 at a time and pushed through the turnstiles. He was already running behind schedule and that just wouldn’t do.

Rehearsals went…fine, he supposed but Roxas was still too distracted by thoughts of flame red hair to pay too much attention to what he was doing. Which wasn’t great if you’re supposed to be coordinating the lighting cues and his director gave him a great big talking to. Hayner dragged him out for drinks later that night.

“Ya know, Roxas, if you’re too distracted to actually do this gig you could always go for something easier,” Hayner teased over his gin and tonic, making Roxas grimace.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you think you’d do a way better job or something,” he grumbled, making Hayner snort.

“Nope!” his friend said easily before taking another sip of gin, swirling the glass in his hand. Olette peered between them, carefully cradling her Margarita.

“Is something wrong, Roxas? You do seem kinda…space-y lately…” she asked gently, pushing a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear. Roxas sighed. He didn’t realize he was being so obvious.

“Well…have you guys ever…I dunno…seen someone only once but they like…left such an impression that sometimes you can’t help but think about them?”

“Like a famous person?” Hayner asked. Roxas shook his head.

“No…just a normal person…”

His friends considered it, Roxas eyeing them over the rim of his glass. Olette was the first to break the silence. “Once I saw a girl so pretty, I forgot how to breathe.”

Pence snickered next to her. “Was it in the mirror?” he asked with a wiggle of eyebrows and Olette blushed, smacking him in the arm. Roxas snorted loudly.

“Real smooth, dude,” he snickered, Pence grinning brightly while Olette continued to blush, taking a hurried sip of her drink.

“No, you absolute terrorist,” she grumbled at last, “I saw her on the subway like…months ago…I still think about her…”

“You’re too bi for your own good, O,” Hayner snorted.

Olette sighed theatrically, pressing a hand to her cheek. “I know. It’s a curse.”

Pence peered at Roxas. “Did you have a gay staring experience on the subway too, Roxas?” he asked, only half teasingly but Roxas felt his cheeks burn just slightly.

“No,” he said quickly, “nothing like that. And it was a…while ago …” for a moment, Roxas trailed off, frowning at himself, “ah…nevermind. It’s probably really stupid anyway.”

“Roxas..?”

“It doesn’t seem stupid if you’re so distracted by it you can’t light faces correctly,” Hayner said incredulously, taking another sip of gin.

Roxas considered. He COULD tell them he kept thinking about some red haired boy that he literally saw once when he was 7. He COULD also tell them how he kept thinking he saw that boy everywhere now. But it was likely seem more than a little crazy. Roxas shook his head and managed an easy smile.

“It’s really dumb, I promise. Besides…the marks were moved like…last minute and I didn’t have a chance to re-adjust.”

It was more than a blatant lie but Roxas decided he didn’t quite feel to admitting everything to everyone right now. Especially when it was something fairly stupid and more than a little odd. He’d sit on the memory for ages if he had to, until someone came along that would hopefully knock it out of him.

Luckily for him, his friends finally got distracted with talks of other things and Roxas nursed his bourbon quietly, idly listening to the conversation and providing the occasional quip. When they finally parted ways, Roxas was pleasantly buzzed, clambering down into the subway at 1 in the morning and feeling thankful that the next day was a free day for him.

The train was relatively empty that night and Roxas flopped down in a seat by the door, leaning his cheek on the pole beside him. It was a pleasant feeling, this buzz and Roxas kind of reveled in it, his brain foggy but still thinking. He should…call his parents at some point…it had been a while.

Halfway through the ride, Roxas was made aware of someone wheeling their bike onboard once more, leaning it just beside the door and Roxas blearily peered up. He wondered why someone would bring their bike on the subway anyway…didn’t that…defeat the purpose of having a bike? It was a nice bike too, by the looks of it, expensive, and likely drove pretty smoothly. Roxas grimaced. His bike was an old piece of crap that he really should look into getting replaced.

He must have made a noise though cuz he heard the owner of the bike chuckle. Roxas blinked.

“’S a nice bike,” he murmured, pushing himself to sit up straight.

“Yeah, it does alright,” came the response from the bike’s owner and Roxas had to ponder on that voice. It was smooth like butter and quite pleasant to listen to and Roxas closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again he couldn’t help but frown at himself.

“Sorry…” he muttered. The bike’s owner chuckled above him.

“No harm done.”

God…that voice. And maybe it was the booze helping him but Roxas could’ve just drifted off, listening to that voice for hours. The sound of the loudspeakers above garbled out the name of a stop and bike’s owner shifted.

“Get home safe, yeah?” he said and when Roxas looked over, he saw slender pale fingers gripping the bike’s handlebars. Slowly, he let his eyes travel up those pale hands to black clad arms and up, up to the bike owner’s face. Roxas felt like he was dreaming and what he was dreaming of was red hair. It shone almost like a halo and framed the man’s pale face in layers, pulled back from his eyes in a rather artful bun. His eyes were emerald green and crinkled at the corners as he smiled. Roxas saw…or thought he saw… small, tear shaped markings beneath those emerald eyes.

Roxas swore he heard himself wheeze, blinking and rubbing at his eyes. He was imagining things…this was all an alcohol induced dream. By the time he tore his hands away from his eyes, the doors of the train were closing with a loud “STAND CLEAR OF THE CLOSING DOORS” and that man…that red haired figment of Roxas’ imagination was wheeling his bike to the escalator, peering at Roxas through the window just as the train picked up speed and soon, the red haired man was gone, his image swallowed by the darkness of the tunnel.

It took Roxas all of his effort to pull back into the moment and even more effort to stumble from the train and down the street to his apartment at his own stop. Before he knew it, he was home, collapsed face first into his pillows. That…that was real…that really happened. Roxas couldn’t find his breath and shoved himself up, rolling over onto his back to blearily stare at the ceiling.

“Oh my god…” Roxas breathed to his ceiling. Oh my god, he was real. He really existed…that boy from so many years ago…that boy who was now a very tall…and very handsome man who just HAPPENED to live on Roxas’ line. Roxas could remember him so clearly now as if he stood above him right now. Those eyes…and that red…RED hair.

Inhaling sharply, Roxas smacked his hands to his face. Oh god, he’d made such a creepy fool of himself that he was SURE that he’d never, EVER get the chance to talk to him ever again. Good job Roxas, you big idiot. You blew it before it even began, his mind berated him and Roxas had to hold back the urge to scream into his palms. It was just like him to ruin his own opportunities before anything actually happened.

 Big, BIG idiot.

So annoyed was Roxas at himself that he hadn’t even noticed as he drifted off, having not showered and not changed with his hands still pressed firmly to his face. When he dreamed, he dreamed of fire and light laughter echoing on the air. Roxas burned.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally deleted the initial ending notes and I don't remember what I wrote and then my computer crashed hahah
> 
> hello, I love Axel and Roxas. They were my OG OTP when I was a wee child in early highschool and honestly, they're still around to make my emotional and give me lots of inspiration. 
> 
> enjoy the gays, everyone, thanks so much for reading!


	2. Plaid is for the gays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what I'm doing outside of delving into apartment seeking in NYC all the sudden.

When Roxas woke up the next morning, he felt like shit. He was sure the booze was partially to blame for this but his dreams had been weird and his mind was still racing. Roxas groaned, resisting the urge to smack himself in the face once more. That was no way to start a morning, especially a morning on his day off. So Roxas got up.

He showered and shaved.

Brushed his teeth and dressed.

Sat on his bed for a good half hour and simply stared out his window.  Rain pattered against the glass, unpleasant gray clouds hanging over the city in sheets. Somewhere in the distance, thunder boomed and Roxas heard the very faint underlying of police sirens, their screaming lulling him into his own thoughts.

What…what was he even doing? Obsessing over a stranger? Being a weird creep? Roxas grimaced. How awful and unhealthy. He couldn’t keep up like this, both for his own sake and the sake of a person he’s barely met. If he ran into the man again, Roxas thought that at least he could apologize. Maybe it would be weird…but it would set his mind at ease and hopefully cast a better impression of himself. Or maybe…maybe he should just let all of this go. It was mere coincidence, really, that he had run into the stranger who had come into his thoughts so often since he was a child but it was honestly a bit unhealthy to obsess on this idea at all.

Roxas sighed and rubbed at his eyes. Well, he decided, whatever happened, he’d just have to live with it. It was far too stressful to live his life based on a bunch of “what-ifs” and even if the idea of making friends with the man seemed particularly appealing, Roxas couldn’t stand the thought of just how creepy he’d be to himself if he pushed this.

Eventually, Roxas forced himself to be productive while avoiding his phone like the plague. Hayner called later in the day to see if he was busy. Then Olette. Roxas had almost expected Pence to complete the trio of missed calls when Demyx’ ringtone resounded through the apartment. Roxas stared hard at his phone.

On one hand…this was really terrible timing.

On the other hand…Roxas had TOLD him to call. And maybe it would do him some good to break out of his thoughts and speak with another human being.

After some internal debating, Roxas finally scooped up the phone, practically shoving it against his ear.

“Hey.”

 _“Hey yourself!”_ Demyx chirped from the other end, his sheepish smile obvious even over the phone, _“you told me to call so like…here I am.”_

“Yeah, I guess I did didn’t I…”

There was a pause.

_“Everything alright, Rox? I can call back another time maybe?”_

“No, no,” Roxas blurted hurriedly, flopping down to sit at his kitchen’s island, “this is good. I’m glad you called. I’m kind of…well…anyway…I had a thought.”

_“Oh, do tell, those are always dangerous.”_

“Be afraid.”

 _“That’s my natural state of being,”_ Demyx quipped and Roxas actually laughed, feeling his muscles slowly relax.

“Well here’s the thought. I know you said you’d be too nervous to go on stage and junk. And I get that. But have you considered being in the orchestra?”

_“What?”_

“Well…our guitarist quit recently due to severe health issues. And we haven’t really put out the call yet for a new one. So I thought maybe…you could…you know…try out. I mean, there’s no guarantee about anything but Dem, I’ve heard you play. You’re amazing. And it’ll be the best foot in the door you could get.”

A long, LONG silence followed those words. So long in fact that Roxas was sure Demyx either hung up on him or the phone disconnected. Roxas coughed gently.

“Dem?”

_“Huh?! Yeah! Yeah I’m still here.”_

“And? Thoughts?”

 _“I’m…”_ Demyx paused, _“just…trying to process all this.”_

“I mean, like I said, it’s not a guarantee. And they wouldn’t play favorites just because you know a crew member but I really think you could get in with no problem. Without my help.”

Another long silence. Roxas sucked in a breath.

“Demyx?”

 _“Yeah! I mean yes, I’m still here…I’m just…”_ a long pause followed and Roxas heard Demyx inhale deep, seemingly steadying himself, _“you really think I’d have a shot?”_

“Dude…yes! Are you kidding? I wouldn’t suggest it otherwise. That would just be…a dick thing to do.”

He heard Demyx inhale again and if Roxas knew his friend at all, he’d know that he was nearly hyperventilating.

“Deep breaths, Dem. It’s just an idea and I don’t wanna pressure you or anything. Just think it over, alright? I’ll let you know when we have auditions, if you’d like but don’t feel like you HAVE to go, okay?”

It took a few moments for Demyx to steady himself but when he finally did, he sounded almost relieved. _“Thank you…Roxas. I really mean it…this is like…the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”_

“Technically…I haven’t DONE anything yet.”

_“You know what I mean…I just..wowies.”_

“Hey, it’s no problem, alright? I just thought you’d like the opportunity? Not that I think you can’t find your own or anything,” he added hurriedly, “but since I have a foot in the door already, I just thought I’d…widen that opening.”

Demyx laughed. _“You wouldn’t be wrong if you DID think that.”_

“Give yourself some credit.”

_“I know what I’m like, Rox. But yeah…yes…thank you! I would…wow…um…yes I would very much like to know if and when you guys hold auditions.”_

“You got it.”

_“Thanks, Roxas. You’re a real cool dude.”_

“I’m just pretending.”

_“Well, good job! You’ve got ME convinced.”_

Roxas laughed gently, fingers idly skating over marble surface of his countertop. “I’ll text you the info when I get it. You’ll be the first to know.”

 _“Man, having friends in high places sure is cool,”_ Demyx chuckled in response and Roxas could picture the dorky grin the other man was wearing. He smiled.

“Yeah, I’m up there alright, just living the dream,” Roxas said with a snort and Demyx chuckled.

_“Well look, I still really appreciate you thinking of me. It warms my heart.”_

“You have one of those?” Roxas blurted, teasingly and Demyx squawked on the other line.

 _“Of course! How hurtful, Roxas!”_ he said theatrically and Roxas couldn’t hold back a laugh.

“Right, right, sorry.”

Demyx paused. _“I should let you get back to whatever it was that had you so distracted. But uh…you know if you need to…I dunno…talk things out…I’m here for you okay?”_

Roxas considered the offer for a long moment, fingers still idly tracing the patterns in the marble. “Is…is it weird to kind of…obsess about someone you don’t know?”

 _“What, like a celebrity?”_ Demyx asked, echoing Hayner’s question from the night before and making Roxas snort.

“No, just a normal person.”

_“I mean…everyone thinks about strangers, I think. Sometimes they’re just really, REALLY pretty.”_

“It’s not entirely like that…I just…let’s say…hypothetically, I saw someone YEARS ago. And they left a huge impression on me. And let’s say…ALSO hypothetically, that I ran into that someone a night ago and acted like a weird creep.”

_“Were you drunk?”_

Roxas laughed. “No but I was…buzzed?”

_“Alcohol does that. I’m a lightweight, I get weird around 2 drinks.”_

“I mean…I don’t wanna USE the alcohol as an excuse, you know. I shouldn’t be weird about a stranger, right?”

_“…Were they cute?”_

The question caught Roxas of guard and he sputtered. Demyx laughed. _“They were, weren’t they? And then you thought about that first time you saw them and realized some stuff.”_

“Sounds like you’ve gone through this.”

_“I mean…maybe. But look, it seems to me you’re recognizing that you were kinda creepy about stuff, right?”_

“Yeah…”

_“That’s good. If you can look at your own behavior critically, you can learn from it, right? And what if like…that stranger thought you were cute too? What if something comes up and you end up talking again or something? You wanna treat them normally, right?”_

Roxas considered. God, that would be quite something. And Demyx had a point. “Yeah…I don’t wanna be a creep…to anyone, ever. It’s not cool.”

_“Right on.”_

A long silence passed between them before Roxas breathed out. “He lives on my line, Dem…”

_“Oho, it’s a he, huh?_

Roxas felt himself blush but huffed. “And?”

 _“And nothing,”_ Demyx paused for a moment, “ _I’ve always been partial to guys with long hair.”_

“His hair was fairly long…and in a bun…and red.”

_“Heavens.”_

“Yup.”

_“Well Roxas, maybe an opportunity will strike and you’ll manage to talk to him or something.”_

“I’ve KINDA drunkenly slurred at him that he had a nice bike?”

_“Hey, it’s a step! Maybe next time he’ll remember and make a joke about it or something.”_

Roxas chuckled despite himself, throwing his head back and staring at his ceiling. “You’re getting my hopes up, Dem.”

_“Well ya know. Don’t loose faith but also don’t obsess okay? That’s not healthy for anyone. And he’s just a normal guy right? Just treat him like any other normal guy.”_

“Yeah…” Roxas paused, chewing on the inside of his cheek, “thanks Demyx…I’m glad I could…talk things out.”

_“Hey, no problem.”_

“I’ll text you the stuff alright?”

_“Awesome, thanks Roxas! Later!”_

“See ya.”

It took moments for Roxas to move after they had hung up, curiously staring at his ceiling. Demyx was right. He shouldn’t allow his mind to consume itself with these thoughts but just treat as if encountering any other normal person. And if conversation sparks up again? Great! If not? Well, such is life. He’d be disappointed but he shouldn’t let this idea run his life. The thought process made him feel…better and Roxas set about his day with renewed vigor. He called back Hayner and Olette. Made plans. Apologized. And spent a good few hours tidying his apartment. These past few days had seen him wallow in his own weird misery and the apartment had gotten grossly neglected. Roxas couldn’t have that. It was a nice apartment and he wasn’t paying almost 6K a month for it to go to shambles.

That evening he met up with his friends for dinner and Roxas felt remarkably okay. Everything sort of clicked properly in his brain and it felt easier to just…have a normal chat. To relax. To spent half the meal discussing cue changes and lighting adjustments. Just normal talk.

When they parted ways, it was around 9:30 and Roxas felt comfortably full. Sticking earphones in his ears, he tuned out the world as he ambled down to the subway, finger tapping away to the beat of a song.

The train was relatively empty for the time of night that it was but Roxas didn’t feel like sitting. He’d sat all day. So he stood by the door, leaning against the little railing and fiddling with his stylus. His conversation with his friends left a lot of notes to be jotted down so Roxas scribbled furiously, ignoring the garbled voice of the intercom and the still very clear STAND CLEAR OF THE CLOSING DOORS as the train moved from stop to stop, people filing past him at each stop. Right around 42nd street, someone stopped opposite Roxas, leaning back against the pole while Roxas continued to scribble. The loud speakers dinged, the voice boomed and the train lurched, sending Roxas unexpectedly stumbling forward as he shifted from one foot to another. He let out an uncharacteristic yelp and the stylus went flying from his fingers, skidding on the floor.

Shit.

 _Breath, should I take a deep,_ the voice sung in his ear as slender fingers scooped up the stylus.

 _Faith, should I take a leap,_ the voice sung and Roxas allowed himself to finally look up and maybe his stomach somersaulted. Just a little.

_Taste, what a bittersweet._

“Drop something?” asked that voice and Roxas couldn’t find his thoughts for what felt like an eternity. God, those eyes were so green.

_All my, all my life._

Roxas swallowed and yanked an earphone from his ear. “I’m sorry.”

“No harm done.”

_Let me face, let me face, let me face my fears._

What were the chances, Roxas thought desperately, that he’d be face to face once more with that mysterious and very handsome red head that he SWORE to himself he wouldn’t be creepy about? Right. Be normal, Roxas.

Roxas managed a smile as the red haired man extended the stylus to him, carefully accepting it. Be normal.

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem. Looks like we keep bumping into each other, huh?” the red head said casually and his smile was so nonchalant that Roxas felt even worse for being such a creep.

He chuckled a bit sheepishly. “What are the odds, huh? Big city and all.”

_Space, I guess that’s what I choose_

Could he even be normal with those green eyes boring into his very soul? The red head’s nonchalant smile remained. “You know, I keep seeing you on this train and thinking, ‘wow, we sure do have the same routine’ but I never really got the chance to just be like…’hi.’ Didn’t want to come off creepy and all that.”

Roxas blinked. What..?

“I’m sorry?”

“Well, you know, I hope this isn’t too forward or anything but you seem like the cool type,” the red head said with a shrug, “just wanted to try my hand at conversation. I’m blowing it, aren’t I?”

The red head laughed gently and Roxas thought his soul would escape his body. He had WANTED to talk to Roxas? This guy?? No way!

Outwardly, Roxas managed a sheepish chuckle. “You’re not,” he promised, carefully tucking the stylus away into his phone, “plus if anyone is blowing it, it’d be me.”

“Oh?”

“I was a weird drunk at you last night.”

The red head blinked, considering before he shrugged a shoulder, looking as relaxed as ever. “It’s no big. Booze does that.”

“I…suppose. Still. Sorry.”

“Don’t sweat it.”

If Roxas could, he would have hyperventilated there on the spot. He took a breath.

 _Face my fears,_ the voice sang in his ear.

Right. Roxas smiled.

“Thanks.”

The red head studied him intently for a moment, slender fingers poking at his chin. He wore his hair down today, Roxas noted, seeing it spike in layers behind him and standing out starkly against his black and dark maroon jacket. Roxas saw a red plaid shirt beneath the jacket and couldn’t help but project a little. Plaid was for the gays, his brain joked with no real humor and Roxas thought he would faint. Now wasn’t the time.

“Have we…met before?” Roxas just barely caught him saying and he almost stumbled again.

“I…don’t think so?” Roxas lied and felt his stomach doing flips. God, don’t tell him you remember him since you were 7. Don’t do it, it’s creepy.

“Huh…could’ve sworn…” the red head considered before shrugging a shoulder, “well, let’s say this is the first time we’ve met and move on. It’s nice to meet you. Name’s Axel.”

He said all this just so casually that Roxas felt strangely wretched. He was so calm? About all of this? How even? Roxas’ brain threatened to claw its way from his skull mere hours ago at the thought of this very situation. Now it just buzzed nervously.

“Roxas,” he said and found himself extending a hand. Axel grinned in a way that made the corners of his eyes crinkle pleasantly, accepting the hand and giving it a good shake. Up close, Roxas definitely saw light violet tear shaped tattoos, one under each eye. And there was strength in those slender fingers as they shook hands, his brain ALMOST running away from him again, thinking of every possible thing that Roxas definitely did NOT want to be thinking about right now. He let go.

Axel’s grin remained, hand disappearing into his jacket pocket. “It’s nice to actually have a name to the face, you know?”

Roxas smiled at that. It really was nice. He LOOKED like an Axel; that air of the high school cool kid hanging around him at every word. Roxas was willing to bet real human money that Axel was definitely a cool kid in high school. The thought made his smile widen a little.

“Yeah, it is,” he said aloud, idly twining the headphones around his phone before pocketing it as the loud speakers dinged above them.

Axel blinked. “Fast ride,” he said, almost to himself before nodding to Roxas, “well, this is my stop. It was nice to actually meet you, Roxas. See you around?”

“Definitely,” was Roxas’ reply and Axel’s returning smile was so warm that Roxas thought he’d collapse right then and there. He held it together as Axel pushed off the pole he leaned on, adjusting his backpack strap and exiting the train with a final nod.

STAND CLEAR OF THE CLOSING DOORS, boomed above them and Roxas couldn’t help but watch as the doors slid shut, the red haired shape of Axel moving to the escalator. Just briefly, he seemed to look back and Roxas’ stomach did another somersault. He was imagining things, he thought as the train disappeared into the tunnel, removing Axel from sight. Roxas almost collapsed against the railing behind him. Somewhere in the wagon, someone whistled.

The noise snapped Roxas’ attention to an older woman with baby blue hair who was smiling over her phone. He blinked at her. Her smile widened a little.

“Someone’s got it bad,” she commented and Roxas felt his cheeks burn.

“Oh god,” he wheezed out and could think of nothing else as he stumbled off the train, unsteadily wobbling home. His bed welcomed him as he collapsed, muffling another noise with a pillow.

Oh GOD, he DID have it bad. And now he knew the NAME of who he had it bad for. Roxas wasn’t sure if it really made things better…or worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like...Face my fears is an amazing song...I like it more than Simple and Clean tbh.
> 
> Okay, full disclosure, I've never played Birth By Sleep and don't know Aqua as a character outside of her brief appearances in what I've played of KH3. So her tiny cameos here and there are based on nothing but my own speculation on her character. I got nothing. She won't be around much.
> 
> Roxas is a gay disaster pass it on.
> 
> And what kind of long haired mens is Dem into? Oh gosh, I dunno, why am I even including this? 
> 
> Anyway! thank you for reading! comments and kudoes always appreciated!


	3. Brunch: one of the essential food groups

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's talk about brunch, Lin-Manuel Miranda and feelings for far too long

The next morning Roxas woke up to an unfamiliar feeling pressing to his back. Blearily, he grumbled something out before realization slowly dawned that…waitaminute…he lived alone and had no pets. Squawking, Roxas was thrust into full wakefulness as he tried to thrash upwards.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” came a cheerful voice from above and the weight lifted slightly so Roxas could roll over on his side. He knew that damn voice.

“Sora?! Are you crazy, what are you doing?!” Roxas wheezed out, “you nearly gave me a heart attack!”

Sora refused to really move from where he leaned against Roxas’ side and beamed wide. “Well, we DID call. AND knocked. AND left a message. Did you forget that we’d be coming today? Remember when we talked last week? ‘Hey Roxas, we’re gonna come next Sunday for a few days. Yeah? That’s cool? Awesome! See you then!’”

Roxas stared at Sora blearily before groaning. He had completely forgotten. “How did you even…” he started, trailing off as Sora dangled one of his spare apartment keys in front of Roxas’ nose.

“YOU gave me this Roxas. Like…when you moved in.”

Roxas couldn’t help but groan again. So much for being an adult who was totally able to plan things. Sora poked him in the side. “We DID try to knock, you know. But it’s like you sleep like a log now or something.”

Muffling a laugh, Roxas half buried his face in his pillow. “It’s a city skill, you wouldn’t understand.”

Sora chuckled softly before poking him in the side once more. “Come on Rox, up you go. Riku promised to treat us to brunch.”

When Roxas refused to move, Sora poked him again, Roxas just barely mustering the effort to tilt his head and bat away at Sora’s hand. “So-raaaa,” he whined.

“Ro-xaaaas,” Sora whined back before shooting a glance over his shoulder to where the silver haired shape of Riku stood, his arms folded, “Ri-kuuuu.”

Riku laughed. “Oh no, you’re not roping me in with this. He’s your cousin, you get him up.”

“Awwww come on, Riku! This is a two-man job.”

“You could just threaten him with cold water,” Riku suggested and Roxas turned a theatrical glare on him.

“How rude! In my own home!”

Sora giggled despite himself. “Come on Roxas. You stink, get up. Or no brunch.”

“Ffffffiiiiiiineeee. You’ve found my one weakness; brunch.”

Sora whooped his victory, hefting off the bed to let Roxas crawl from under the blankets, Riku chuckling softly. “Man, it’s almost like you don’t want us here or something,” he said with an easy shrug, Roxas sighing.

“I always want my two favorite people around but also…sleep is really important.”

“Fair.”

Sora was still giggling as Roxas collected some clothes, shambling to the bathroom and letting them have reign of his apartment for the time being. When Roxas emerged; dressed and washed, Riku was idly flipping through a script Roxas had left on his coffee table while Sora leaned on his shoulder. Riku whistled.

“What’s it like to be famous now?”

“I wouldn’t know, I just work backstage,” Roxas said with a shrug, dumping his pajamas on the bed and waddling over to join them. Riku smiled faintly, carefully setting the script aside.

“How you liking it?”

“Honestly? It’s a lot. But it’s a lot that I like so I can’t complain.”

Sora poked Riku. “Brunch first, discussion during,” he said and Riku laughed, ruffling a loving hand through his hair.

“Yeah, yeah. I DID promise.”

“Well, you two have come to the prime city for brunch,” Roxas said eagerly and grinned as Riku quirked an eyebrow at him, “look, brunch is a lifestyle.”

“Also fair.”

“And I’m hungry,” Sora chirped as Roxas grabbed his keys, wallet and phone, guiding them back outside. He couldn’t help but laugh, his cousin’s cheerful demeanor doing wonders for his turmoil filled brain. He’d have time to worry about other things…or people…another day. Or, if he was honest with himself, another hour, since his thoughts seemed to constantly bounce back to Axel no matter what he was doing or who he was with.

“So, mister big city,” Sora was saying as they hit the street, nudging Roxas with an elbow, “I’m sure you got stories.”

“Stories? That’s so vague.”

“Oh you know; any dance battles break out? Sing-offs? Racing cars through the streets?”

Riku laughed, pressing a hand to his lips while Roxas let out a low ‘pffffttt.’ “Sora, you’ve seen Grease and West Side Story way too many times, I think we need to cut you off.”

“I don’t know if that’s possible,” Riku lamented while Sora looked between them, expression almost genuinely hurt.

“I can’t believe my own kin and my own boyfriend would treat me this way.”

Riku was still laughing, if softly while Roxas rolled his eyes, patting Sora’s shoulder. “There, there, brunch will help you feel better,” he soothed, pointedly nudging Sora towards the double doors of a very nice looking restaurant.

It took about 20 minutes for them to get in but after the hostess seated them at a booth in a corner and bustled off, Sora buried his nose in the menu, expression serious. Riku peered over at him, carefully cradling a glass of water. “You’re acting like you haven’t eaten in days.”

“It feels like it! And brunch IS important,” Sora protested before distracting himself with the menu again while Roxas and Riku exchanged a _look._ It was strange, Roxas reasoned, how much he hadn’t really liked Riku when they first met. Certain circumstances during their middle to early high school years conspired to create a myriad of misunderstandings between them and it was only thanks to Sora and a lot of patience that things were able to get worked through. Eventually.

And Roxas was glad for it. Riku was a good person to have on your side and a good friend in general. “Ride or die” as the kids called it. Or just…help you move furniture into your new fancy apartment when your parents were too busy. Roxas considered that quite a large sacrifice, especially since Riku refused any money Roxas tried to offer him, only eventually caving to the offer of some quality New York pizza.

Currently, Riku was studying the brunch menu while idly thumbing his chin and Roxas finally let himself peer at the menu as well. He already knew what he wanted; being a frequent customer of this place with his friends but it was nice to be able to bring other people here too.

I wonder if Axel likes brunch, he thought absently and almost slapped himself at the idea. Stop that, he’s still a stranger, let it go.

It took him a moment to pull back into himself and by that time, the waitress had glided over with a cheerful smile and a notepad. She nodded to Roxas and proceeded to take their orders, gliding off as smoothly as she came with the promise of food and drinks soon to come. Riku watched her go.

“You come here often then?”

“When I get the chance, yeah. I wasn’t even supposed to have the weekend off, but we’re having a bit of a delay.”

Sora perked up, zoning in on Roxas. “Okay mister Broadway. Spill the beans. I wanna know all about this theater stuff.”

“I uh…what do you wanna know?”

“What’s it like? Have you met anyone famous? Do you know Lin-Manuel Miranda? Is he nice? I bet he’s nice.”

Riku couldn’t hold back his chuckling again, having to hide behind a hand while Roxas blinked at Sora. “Sora, Lin-Manuel Miranda doesn’t go to every musical. Especially not ones he has nothing to do with.”

“Awww.”

“I mean, I’m sure he’s around,” Roxas said gently to Sora’s genuinely crestfallen expression, “it’s just…you know, we’re not exactly expecting him to appear.”

“That’s a shame, he seems like he’d be really nice.”

“Yeah, I bet he is.”

“Well, if you ever DO meet him, I DEMAND an autograph.”

Roxas couldn’t help but laugh as their waitress brought them their drinks, thanking her and taking a sip of his tea. “Trust me, if I ever met him, you’d be one of the first to know.”

Sora chuckled at that, carefully cupping his hands around his mug of hot cocoa. He looked strangely pleased with himself and Roxas quirked an eyebrow at him. Sora grinned and after a moment, Roxas decided not to press it, looking at Riku instead.

“So what about you guys? What’s new?”

Riku took a small sip of coffee, setting the cup aside and also looking strangely pleased with himself. Maybe this was all related, Roxas realized and quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Well,” Riku said, “we’ve actually been thinking of moving to the city.”

Roxas couldn’t help but gawk. “No way! You? The beach kids? In the city? I can’t believe it.”

Riku snorted. “Let’s just say that it’s mostly work related,” he said with a shrug while Sora bounced a little next to him.

“Riku got a job at NYU.”

Roxas’ gawking only increased. “What? Really?”

Riku, for his part, looked bashful. “They…were looking to expand their psychology department. I just happened to apply and well…”

“Holy crap, dude!”

Sora beamed with pride when Roxas peered at him. “You’d…be okay with moving?” he asked his cousin carefully. Sora nodded, sticking his chin out in determination.

“Of course! It’s a big step, right? Would be selfish to just hog Riku away in New Jersey of all places for the rest of our natural born lives.”

Riku’s expression grew incredibly fond, careful fingers skating over the tabletop to rest on Sora’s hand. Sora’s smile was sunshine, hand flipping to wrap around Riku’s. Roxas watched all this and felt a strange sort of comfortable warmth at their very loving familiarity. And if he was honest with himself, he could say he felt just a smidge jealous.

He coughed, punching those thoughts clear out of his mind. “Congrats, Riku. That’s really awesome! If you guys want, I could always help you go apartment hunting. Unless you’re thinking of like…getting a nice huge house in the suburbs with all your professor money.”

Riku snorted. “The professor money I’m not even making yet. My current job doesn’t pay nearly that well. Still, thanks. I’m sure you know the city far better than us.”

“Looking at Google maps will only get you so far,” Roxas chuckled, pushing his tea to the side as their waitress finally brought them their brunch. It was only then that Roxas realized just how hungry he felt and dug into his French toast with vigor.

A few moments passed in silence as they ate; a good indicator at their shared hunger before Roxas finally peered at Sora. “What about you Sora?”

“Whelf ah goht a jerb,” Sora garbled through cheeks full of pancake and Riku rolled his eyes.

“Chew your food, Sora,” he chuckled to which Sora huffed through his nose, giving himself a moment to chew and swallow before continuing.

“We got really, REALLY lucky, Rox!”

“Oh?”

“Because guess who ALSO happened to get a job in the area?”

“Oh yeah, where at?”

“I get to be a sea lion keeper at the Bronx Zoo!”

Roxas couldn’t help but laugh. “Did you guys plan this out or did it just happen cuz that’s how it’s been?” he asked, eyebrow quirking. Sora beamed.

“Well, we DID plan but you know…no guarantees in anything. But we really did luck out too.”

Roxas’ smile was soft. “I’m glad. Maybe we’ll get to be neighbors.”

Riku snorted gently. “Oh please, you’d hate that.”

“Lies and slander,” Roxas huffed, the three of them sharing a laugh before the conversation moved to other topics. They really were lucky, Roxas realized with a pang of…something. Maybe it was longing. They had found each other all the way back when they were kids and their friendship had evolved into something far more that anybody could have possibly imagined. Roxas could still remember the huge fist fight Riku had gotten into in high school over something some kid said about Sora. It earned him a black eye and a trip to the principal’s office but Riku said he’d do it again in a heartbeat.

“Nobody says that about Sora…nobody,” he had said adamantly and his normally calm eyes burned. And maybe it was then that Roxas finally began to see Riku in a new light, turning the negative tide in their tense relationship into something else entirely. All in all, Roxas was thankful.

They must have sat at the restaurant for what felt like hours, conversation lazily meandering from where they’d like to live, to when they planned on moving, to where Kairi had gotten up to. Sora proclaimed that she got a job at the Baltimore aquarium, diving with sharks. His smile was blinding as he talked about his friend, Riku’s fingers carefully tracing Sora’s knuckles as he spoke.

It was only then that Roxas finally managed to tear out of their conversation to peer up at the door he was facing as it chimed and for a moment his brain didn’t quite register what or why before suddenly, there was red hair. Roxas gawked before quickly diving down to hide behind Riku. Riku blinked.

“Roxas?”

“I’m not here.”

He felt them both staring at him now, Sora’s voice laced with concern. “Roxas, what’s the ma…”

“Ssshhhh, I’m not here,” Roxas hissed out, still hiding both behind Riku and his hands, peeking through his fingers as Sora and Riku exchanged bemused glances. There was the shape of Axel, red hair and all, bobbing around tables as he followed the hostess, talking to a slightly shorter, blue haired man. Roxas suddenly wondered who that was and felt his heart clench in a feeling that he didn’t like. Riku frowned slightly, peering at Roxas before following his gaze to Axel as the hostess led him and his companion to another room of the restaurant. Only then did Roxas straighten, breathing out a sigh of relief. Riku’s frown turned into a quirked eyebrow.

“You owe that guy money or something?” he asked and Roxas choked.

“What? No! No I just…it’s…it’s complicated.”

Sora looked confused, peering at Roxas then Riku then Roxas again. “What was that about?”

“Looks like Roxas is in debt to the mob,” Riku said solemnly and Roxas huffed.

“It’s not like that! It’s just…well…mmm…” he trailed off, frowning and felt Sora and Riku exchange looks again. He sighed.

“Look, can we go? I can tell you guys on the way…I just…it’s…awkward.”

He still noted worry in Sora’s expression as Riku flagged down their waitress for the bill but Roxas managed a sheepish smile. He was being ever so dumb.

It was only after they paid and headed for the exit that Roxas caught sight of Axel again. He sat at a far table in the other room, facing towards the exit and talking quite animatedly to his companion. And Roxas couldn’t see the blue haired man’s face but he wondered who this was. A friend? A relative? A…something else? Roxas couldn’t finish that thought, his heart aching a little before he pushed through the doors. He hadn’t noticed as Axel looked up, his expression brightening for a moment just as Roxas exited the restaurant in a hurry, Riku trailing after.

“That guy sure looked excited to see you for a brief second, Roxas,” Riku commented as they hit the autumn air, Roxas spluttering and pressing a hand to his face. He felt Sora shimmy closer, bumping Roxas gently with his elbow.

“Is everything alright?”

“I’m just being really, REALLY dumb, Sora. I’m sorry.”

He heard Riku snort faintly, peering at the taller man through his fingers. He expected some snide remark but instead, Riku’s expression was sympathetic. “Let me guess,” he said, putting on that air of the PhD he rightfully was, “you met a beautiful stranger, talked to him maybe once and now you’re way too embarrassed to admit that you’re into him.”

Roxas let out a tiny groan. “You’re not entirely wrong?” he said at last and sighed as Sora gawked at him.

“You?? Embarrassed to talk to someone?”

“I mean…it’s more complicated than that? But…kind of…essentially. I told you, it’s really, REALLY dumb.”

He felt Riku reach over, carefully patting his shoulder. “They’re YOUR feelings, Roxas. They’re not dumb. It’s more important to acknowledge and welcome your own feelings. And if you think you have an attraction to this man, the worst thing you can do is deny it. That can hurt you psychologically. And Roxas, if you’re afraid that maybe he doesn’t seem interested or is into someone else or something along those lines, let me tell you this…you should have SEEN his face when he saw you for that brief moment.”

Roxas blinked up at Riku. Riku’s smile was soft. “I’ve never seen someone so excited to see a stranger they had no interest in,” he said simply.

Swallowing, Roxas took a moment to think. Axel looked excited? To see HIM? Maybe it was just a trick of the light? Or maybe he’d seen someone else he knew…or maybe…Roxas frowned. These thoughts weren’t helpful.

Sora nudged him again. “You know, you could just TALK to him again, right? It’s not that weird if you’ve already talked.”

“We met on the subway when I was…buzzed.”

Riku quirked an eyebrow at him. “So? Did you say something weird to him?”

“No? I just told him he had a nice bike and he told me to get home safe…”

 Riku thumbed at his chin. “Did he talk to you again after that?”

“Yes…”

“So that didn’t seem like a turn off. Does he seem…creepy to you?”

“What?? No! No, of course not. He…I mean…I just…” Roxas trailed off weakly for a moment, considering, “he said he thought I seemed cool and just wanted to say hi.”

“Awwww,” Sora crooned and Roxas felt his cheeks grow a little red. He huffed in defeat and buried his face in his hands.

“I don’t know how to do these things,” he said weakly and felt Sora’s hands catch his own, pulling them back from his face.

“Now’s a good time to learn right? You won’t know unless you take the opportunity to learn,” he said brightly. Roxas sighed.

“That’s easy for you to say. You and Riku have been together for like…ever.”

Riku tutted gently. “So what? It’s still admitting things and being vulnerable and being able to talk things through. Nobody will know how you feel unless you tell them and you’re honest about it. We wouldn’t be here today if either of us had been too afraid to say anything. Or denied things outright. These things are all about first steps, you know, and you won’t know what will happen till you take those steps. And even if we’ve been friends since diapers, it didn’t make admitting things any easier or less embarrassing.”

“You should have seen Riku’s face,” Sora chimed in brightly. Riku cuffed him.

Roxas considered. “Well…maybe…”

“The worst thing that will happen is that he’ll say he’s not interested. And I know, that SUCKS but it’s also something you gotta learn to cope with too, right?” Riku said evenly. Roxas sighed. Damn him and his PhD brain.

“Fine…fine…I’ll…maybe I’ll say something…we take the same subway into work.”

“You don’t have to start with the big stuff, Roxas, just…you know…establish a rapport. Get to know him. Maybe he’s really a gremlin or something,” Riku teased and Roxas snorted.

“That’s a good looking gremlin,” he sighed out, making Sora giggle.

“Ro-xas has a cruuu-uuush,” he sang out and Roxas felt his cheeks burn, mumbling something incoherent and speeding up his stride.

Riku had a point of course and while Roxas was really bad at these things specifically, he wasn’t really that bad at talking to people. Getting to know them. Being honest. Those things, he COULD do. So maybe…just maybe, he could start things casually and see where it went. He at least finally came to grips with a healthier acknowledgment of Axel and his feelings about Axel but getting to know the other man would definitely help either cement these feelings or break them up. There was always the small chance that the other man was an absolute nightmare. But Roxas would never know if he did nothing but steep in the ocean of his mind.

Next time, he promised himself. Next time for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh golly gee I had so many computer issues this week that I wasn't able to write for like 4 flipping days. But anyway, hopefully...HOPEFULLY things have stabilized and I can go back to writing about my favorite gays in peace.
> 
> Tbh y'all I'm not overly invested in Kairi as a character? But that's not her fault, she's just very badly written into the games and while KH3 gave her SOME development, you can't deny how huge of a "no homo" she is. Which is a huge flipping shame because there's so much untapped potential in that character. I'm not actually really including her since she's not geographically there for it but you know...maybe in another fic. I wanna flesh her out.
> 
> Anyway, here come Sora and Riku to terrorize Roxas, choo choo.
> 
> Thank you to everyone for reading; comments and kudoes are always incredibly appreciated. Y'all don't even know how exciting getting a new comment is. It like...strives me to write more. And this thing just keeps getting longer in my head even though nothing substantial is actually happening. Just brunch and gays. 
> 
> Enjoy!


	4. The rainbow unicorn of NYC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello welcome to my CONTENT where we talk about feelings and bully New Jersey

The next few days were a blur and Roxas barely felt time passing. All he knew was one day Sora and Riku had arrived and the next, they were leaving with hugs and promises of another visit to go apartment hunting. And Roxas wasn’t sure why he barely remembered anything but the fact that every morning for the past few days, Axel was nowhere to be seen on the train. At first, Roxas considered that maybe he was late or maybe early or maybe got on on a different car. But as the days went by the absence of the red head began to make Roxas strangely anxious. Did something happen? Was he alright? Maybe he was avoiding Roxas entirely?

In all honesty, Roxas wouldn’t have blamed him in the least but it was still kind of a bummer. But, he supposed, life went on so he tried his damn best to do the same. He saw Sora and Riku off, went to work, came home, cleaned, slept and so on and so on. A few days after he got his apartment back to himself, news began rolling in from work and Roxas immediately texted Demyx.

They met the next day at Demyx’ usual spot before the turnstiles, the musician looking pale and absolutely mortified. Roxas quirked an eyebrow at him, noting how he had exchanged his usual ripped jeans, hoodie and sneakers for a deep blue dress shirt, black jeans and the newest and cleanest boots he could find.

“Nice job cleaning up,” Roxas said with what he hoped was a reassuring smile. Demyx swallowed, clasping tightly at the strap of the guitar case he had slung over his back.

“Thanks,” he squeaked, voice breaking like he hit a second puberty and taking a second to puff out his cheeks in a shaky breath. Roxas patted his hand.

“You’re gonna do great. Just…take a breath…then another…there you go…” Roxas coached, Demyx wheezing out shaky, barely contained breaths until things evened out somewhat, allowing him to close his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he nodded to Roxas.

“Okay…okay let’s go before I change my mind and flee.”

Roxas chuckled weakly but had a feeling that Demyx was a second away from doing just that so he quickly grabbed him by the hand, hauling ass towards the approaching train. The majority of the train ride was Roxas distracting Demyx from the raging tumult of his own mind in between giving him breaks for breathing exercises. It worked about as well as he had hoped and Roxas himself was too distracted to notice the very real absence of Axel.

“Alright Dem, just pretend that you’re in your usual setting, okay? It’s not a stage, there’s no director. There’s just you and some tourists. Or uh…pretend it’s me. And it’s your new composition and you’re just really excited to play it for a new crowd.”

“…It IS my new composition,” Demyx said after a moment and Roxas grinned.

“Good! Those always do better than covers.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh, for sure. Just…you know…make sure it isn’t just another version of Wonderwall or something.”

Demyx laughed gently at that but his fingers refused to let go of his guitar strap. Still, getting a genuine laugh out of him was something, considering his nervous state and Roxas took it as a small victory.

“Do you…I dunno…need anything?” he offered, adjusting his stance so he didn’t go toppling as the train jerked into motion again. Demyx considered, fingers nervously skating up and down the guitar’s strap.

“I hope this isn’t weird…but…uh…hold my hand when we walk there?”

Roxas blinked. “Why would it be weird?”

“I dunno…I know how it can come off?”

“Dem, it’s totally fine. You know there’s no laws forbidding friends from holding hands, right?” Roxas said easily, waving off the concern. Demyx breathed out a sigh of relief.

“When I was little…my mom would always hold my hand when I went to do something that scared me. It’s…grounding, ya know?” he said, eyes absently focusing on one of the many ads sprawling over the train car’s walls. Roxas smiled.

“I gotcha, Dem.”

“Thanks, Rox.”

They spoke no more until they reached 42nd street and Roxas felt Demyx’ hand slide into his own as they exited the train. He smiled and gave him a reassuring squeeze, before dragging the musician off to the very thing he was ever so nervous about.

And he needn’t have been so scared. By all of Roxas’ metrics, the audition went swimmingly and the director, whose expression was usually an impassive poker face during these kinds of things actually shone through with a visible emotion. Roxas chalked that up as a win and met Demyx outside the theater, grinning from ear to ear.

“Dem!”

“Roxas, oh my god I’m still shaking!”

“Dem, you did fantastic!”

“Roxas, oh my god.”

“Demyx! I promise, you did great. The director showed an EMOTION. She NEVER does that during auditions. NEVER ever!”

Demyx nodded but needed to grip onto Roxas’ shoulders to steady himself, hands shaking. “What did she say?” Roxas asked after a moment.

“She said…she said…hang on…she said I’m on the shortlist…and to expect a call in a few days.”

Roxas’ grin widened to an almost cartoonish degree. “That’s essentially a ‘congratulations, you got the job’ in her speak.”

Demyx exhaled loudly, practically vibrating on the spot. “Oh my god,” he repeated again and Roxas laughed, hauling him back to the subway. Their whole trip back was Demyx occasionally breaking into tiny squeaks before enveloping Roxas in a huge and tight hug. It made Roxas laugh each time, patting Demyx’ shoulder until he calmed down. A few minutes later, it would happen again.

They were a little less than halfway to Wall Street Station when Roxas spotted a very familiar head of red hair in the crowd. He didn’t say anything but a noise must have escaped him as the red hair moved closer and before he knew it, the shape of Axel slid between a couple of people, so engrossed on his phone that he didn’t even look up. Roxas SHOULD have moved aside.

But he didn’t.

And that was how he wound up with Axel’s phone resting in his palms, Axel almost collapsed against him as the train had jolted him violently forward. For a moment, Roxas forgot how to breathe. Oh god…oh no…say SOMETHING.

“Drop something?” he found spewing from his mouth and almost kicked himself until Axel finally looked down. His face broke into a sheepish grin but he didn’t move for a brief second and that second was everything.

“Oh geez! I’m so sorry Roxas!” he said at last, pushing backwards and accepting the phone Roxas offered back to him, “I should know to watch where I’m going huh?”

Roxas laughed gently. “No harm done,” he said and it was oh so annoying how his mouth was just replicating the words Axel had said to him when they first officially spoke. Roxas wasn’t counting his drunken escapades.

He wondered if Axel noticed. If he did, he didn’t point it out but beamed wide. “Well, you sure did save my phone, thanks!”

“Don’t mention it.”

Axel’s smile was like sunshine, peering down at Roxas before spotting Demyx standing beside him. Roxas realized how weird they were probably being, taking a step back to be out of Axel’s space. Demyx blinked.

“Dem, we uh…this is Axel,” Roxas said as ways of a lame introduction. He didn’t mean for his tone to be quite so pointed but realization seemed to dawn on Demyx all the same and he took one look at Axel’s red hair and green eyes and suddenly, Demyx was grinning.

“Oh! Oh well hi! Roxas…mentioned that he made a friend on the subway the other day!” Demyx chirped brightly, adjusting the strap of his guitar. Axel peered between them for a moment and Roxas, not really sure as to what drove him, said.

“Axel, this is my _friend_ Demyx. We were just hanging out and stuff.”

Roxas couldn’t quite tell if Axel noted the change in his tone of voice but Demyx sure did, judging by the look he was currently receiving from his friend. A look along the lines of “shit dude, get some.” Roxas could feel his face starting to burn. He coughed and Demyx’ grin widened.

“Well, I just realized I have some errands I gotta run,” he said suddenly as the train pulled into the next stop, “you crazy kids behave, you hear?”

Roxas caught himself frowning. Demyx didn’t have errands…they were gonna cele…oooooooh. Oh. The heat in his face grew. That sly fox, this was all on purpose. Swallowing back his nerves, Roxas waved. “Bye Dem, text me later!” he called after the musician who winked and finger-gunned at him, hopping off the train and disappearing into the crowd.

This left Roxas alone…with Axel…with no buffer. Well, not ALONE, they were on a train full of people. But in Roxas’ mind, that might as well have not existed. Just talk to him, Roxas, you big idiot. Just say words. Let your mouth open and say wo…

“I think I saw you the other day,” Axel said suddenly, breaking Roxas out of his thoughts and sending him crashing into the moment.

“O…oh?”

“Yeah, I went out to brunch with a friend at Harry’s. Love that place.”

Roxas swallowed. He definitely remembered. “Oh yeah! My cousin was visiting with his boyfriend so I took them to my favorite place,” he said casually. And he wasn’t sure but he THOUGHT he saw Axel perk up at the words ‘with his boyfriend.’ Roxas chalked it up to his imagination again. But then his brain also registered the fact that Axel called that blue haired man his ‘friend’ with no implication of anything else. God, why was this so important?

Well, he knew exactly WHY but it got him far too flustered to continue thinking along that line of logic.

“Hey,” he finally tuned in to Axel saying, “I dunno if this is out of line or anything but uh…would you wanna…grab a bite?”

Roxas’ mind went blank for one horrible, terrible moment and he felt himself mouthing like a fish. Axel didn’t seem to notice at first but chuckled, scratching at his chin. “Sorry, if it’s too forward, I get that you barely know me and all but I just thought well…nevermind.”

“No!”

“…No?”

“I mean yes! Yes, I’d like that, we could totally grab a bite, I would really like to do that…with…you…”he trailed off and his eyes landed on Axel’s face, thoroughly examining every feature as surprise dawned on it. Those beautiful deep green eyes…that flame red hair, currently pulled back in a loose bun at the base of his neck. That ever so bright smile that began to creep over his lips when he realized what Roxas had said.

“Really?”

“Y…yeah. I’d really like that.”

Axel’s grin was blinding and he stashed his phone away. “Awesome! Any…preferences? Chinese? Italian? I’ve always had a fondness for Mediterranean foods myself.”

“Sure. Turkish?”

“Awesome!”

It occurred to Roxas, in that very moment, that Axel could have just led him to an alley and killed him and he’d likely just go along with it. Riku was right; he was completely into him. But Axel did not, in fact, lead him to a dark alley or try to harm him in any manner. They strolled out of the subway, chatting quite casually while Axel led them to his favorite Turkish place.

“You gotta try the lamb here, Roxas. It’s next level,” he was saying with that beautiful grin of his plastered firmly on his face and Roxas could have just lost himself in his voice and his smile.

“I’m up for trying new things,” Roxas blurted out and while he might have meant the food, maybe there was something else there too. If Axel thought so, he made no comment on it for the time being and talked about mostly innocuous things. It was almost as if he was afraid of scaring Roxas off by being too forward. But Roxas appreciated this concern, even if he kinda wanted to ask what this really was? Did he want to be friends? Was this something purely casual? Or was it something more?

Right now, Roxas was absolutely fine with being just casual as long as he got to spend time with Axel and hear his voice. And Axel liked to talk. It wasn’t so much filling the air with nonsense as asking Roxas all sorts of innocuous and benign questions as a way of easing the air around them. By the time they were seated at the restaurant, Roxas felt almost fully at ease. His brain, while still nervously buzzing, finally settled into the comfortable air that Axel was working on creating.

“Theater huh?” Axel commented, taking a sip of water and watching Roxas curiously. Roxas nodded, feeling a bit sheepish.

“Yeah. Well, backstage anyway. I do the lighting and such…nothing as glamorous as acting.”

“You met Lin-Manuel Miranda yet?” Axel asked and Roxas couldn’t hold back the surprised laugh that escaped him. Axel quirked an eyebrow. “What?”

“My cousin asked me that same thing,” Roxas chuckled, idle fingers skating over a fork, “but no, sad to say I haven’t. He’s far too famous at this point to show up here.”

Axel snickered. “I think you’d be surprised.”

Roxas considered, shrugging. “Maybe one day. But what about you, Axel? What do you do?”

“Camera work.”

“What, like photography?”

“Nope. TV camera work. It’s my job to film all that stuff that the networks throw in your faces.”

Roxas considered before laughing gently. “Look at that, we’re both in media, huh?”

When he looked over at Axel, the red head was smiling, chin leaning on his hand as he studied Roxas thoughtfully. “It’s almost like we were meant to meet or something,” he said easily. Roxas’ heart skipped a beat.

“Oh?”

“Oh, you know; same subway line, only a few stops away, similar jobs and interests. Where you been all my life, Roxas?” he joked and Roxas chuckled sheepishly, feeling his face grow a little red.

“New Jersey,” he shot back and Axel snorted.

“Well, no wonder I couldn’t find you, that state is a hell hole.”

“It’s why I’m here now. Although, Cape May is nice,” Roxas defended, Axel shrugging.

“Nice part of an armpit is still an armpit.”

Roxas couldn’t help but chuckle at that, setting his menu aside. “Fair but also, as a person from that armpit, I feel a bit called out.”

Axel grinned sheepishly. “Well, you’ve moved out, haven’t you? You’re only as attached to a place as you let yourself be.”

“My only attachment to New Jersey is family and most of them have left too.”

“See? They know.”

“Yeah…” Roxas breathed wistfully, slowly spacing out as he stared at his food. He remembered the beach…the beach was nice; waves gently lapping at the sand and sun shining high above….

“Roxas?”

“Huh?”

“You okay?”

Roxas’ attention snapped back to Axel and the slightly concerned look the red head wore as he studied him. Roxas couldn’t help but chuckle awkwardly. “Sorry…I uh…I space out a lot…”

Axel seemed to be considering him for a moment, head tilted. He looked…still concerned and Roxas hoped he didn’t ruin the mood somehow. “Axel?”

For a moment, Axel seemed to be considering before rubbing a hand over his neck. “It’s…I’m sorry, you’ve been a really good sport I just…I hope this isn’t…I dunno…weird?”

“Weird?”

“Yeah…you know…we barely know each other and I’m kinda just…surprised you agreed at all. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.”

When Roxas didn’t respond right away, looking more than a little surprised, Axel chuckled weakly. “I mean, it’s like…some weird stranger coming up and essentially asking you out. If it were me, I woulda decked them.”

“Axel…”

“I’m sorry if it’s weird, I don’t want it to feel weird…”

“No, Axel…”

“I know we’re technically not REALLY strangers, but we might as well be, right? I mean, we’ve only talked what? Once? Maybe twice? I can’t imagine how weird it must feel and I don’t wanna come off as a creep…” Axel continued, looking more and more worried.

Roxas’ hands swung out from nowhere, both landing on Axel’s shoulders simultaneously. “Axel!” Roxas’ voice broke through the air, snapping Axel out of his apologizing. He blinked.

“What?”

“What did you just say?”

“’I’m sorry’?”

“Before that.”

“’I woulda decked them’?”

“No, before _that._ ”

“’Essentially asking you out’?”

Roxas wheezed out an unsteady breath and let himself sink back in his chair, pulling his hands away. Axel quirked an eyebrow at him and Roxas couldn’t help but laugh weakly. “You know,” he said, “for a little bit I was like ‘oh man, I wasn’t sure what this really was and I honestly was okay with it just being casual. Just getting to know someone.’ But can I be honest?”

Axel’s eyes on his face were intent, nodding slowly. Roxas smiled. “I’m glad you said it because god, I’m bad at saying stuff like that.”

“Huh?”

“I’m…hmm…okay…I’m just gonna say all this stuff all at once and you’re gonna think I’M a weird crazy person. But okay…ever since we first met I thought you were…really…attractive…like…wow. But I’m bad at starting things and bad at saying things so I kinda kept to myself and hoped I wasn’t being creepy because goddamn did I NOT want to be creepy. And you seemed really genuine too and it’s rare, you know? You’re like a rainbow unicorn at this point, especially considering New York. But I didn’t wanna dwell on things and didn’t wanna invest just in case you weren’t into that or not interested or something. I remember seeing you at Harry’s with your friend and my brain automatically leapt to ‘oh that must be his boyfriend, don’t be a weirdo, Roxas’, so I didn’t say anything but now here we are and I kinda can’t believe…I can’t believe…” Roxas trailed off, losing steam entirely and staring at Axel’s very surprised expression.

“Can’t believe..?” Axel prompted slowly.

“Guys like you don’t go for guys like me. And maybe I’m assuming, right? Maybe you’re using ‘essentially asking you out’ as a figure of speech, right? Was that what it was? Just a figure of speech?” Roxas couldn’t keep his voice entirely steady so he clamped his mouth shut, feeling entirely too vulnerable to be out at a public restaurant like this.

“No.”

“No?” Roxas asked slowly, noting the change in Axel’s expression. He looked less worried now and almost…relieved? Elated? Roxas couldn’t quite pinpoint it.

“No, it wasn’t a figure of speech,” Axel said with determination now and slowly, he reached across the table and his hands found Roxas’. Roxas’ heart leapt in his throat.

“I meant it in the very literal sense. I…well…since we’re being entirely honest,” he said and his expression broke in an almost cheeky grin, “I quite like you…Roxas. I saw you around the subway for months and every time my brain just went a little stupid. But I’m also pretty terrible at approaching THAT kind of thing. Making friends is easy. Maybe implying something more? That’s beyond me. But still, don’t let that distract from the fact that I wasn’t kidding just now. Of course, this is all with your okay. If not, we can keep it casual if you’d like. We can be just friends. I’d just…like to keep you in my life in whatever form you allow. And if not? Well…I’d be more than a little bummed but I’d understand. I don’t want to push ANY of this, no matter the form.”

Roxas stared at him, grounded by the hands resting on his knuckled in a non-demanding but almost…reassuring manner. No way…He had DREAMPT about this happening. Let it play out in his head so many times and somehow…all those little daydreams never really measured up to the truth. Roxas swallowed.

“I…wow…”

“Yup.”

“…You really ARE a rainbow unicorn, Axel,” he joked weakly. Axel grinned.

“Neigh.”

 Roxas blinked before bursting into laughter, having to hide his face behind his free hand for more than a few minutes. When the laughter finally subsided and he wiped a tear from his eyes, his gaze landed on Axel’s face once more.

“So…now what..?”

“That’s up to you.”

“I’d…very much like…if we maybe…made this a thing. Like…a date…”

Axel’s grin was blinding. “I also…would very much like that.”

“Then we are in agreement.”

“Remember young man, this contract is binding,” Axel teased and Roxas snickered, feeling the air relax around them and his shoulders slump.

“Well, where do I sign?”

“Anywhere is fine, as long as there’s proof.”

“Mmmm…okay then,” Roxas slipped his hand from Axel’s grip, carefully pretending to dip his finger in ink before lining his signature on the back of Axel’s hand. Axel watched, almost mesmerized before laughing softly.

“It’ll do,” he said and his voice was gentle.

“I’m glad,” Roxas smiled and let his hand intertwine with Axel’s once more as they both finally remembered their long forgotten food. It was still warm and quite delicious and Roxas felt thankful that he chose to go with the lamb. Axel wasn’t wrong on that level either, Roxas thought with a smile and felt a thumb carefully skating over his knuckles. The action was so innocent but so intimate that Roxas felt his cheeks grow a little warm, chuckling despite himself.

Somewhere, deep down in his heart, Roxas felt like he owed Riku money.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the content, it evolves! I love writing this here content. Square can pry the gays away from my cold DEAD hands.
> 
> absolutely nothing about the audition process on Broadway was researched in any way but I stand by all that I wrote, good day
> 
> I SWEAR Xigbar and Saix and Namine will be in here somewhere...totally, yes probably. But I know y'all aren't really reading for them. You're here for that AkuRoku CONTENT™
> 
> enjoy! comments and kudoes always much, MUCH appreciated. I can't always reply to all the comments, I'm sorry but know that I love and support you all. thank you for reading!


	5. All one of your standards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now for something a little bit different

When Axel was a young boy of about 9 he remembered falling in love with the color blue. And he especially remembered WHY. His dad had dragged him to Central Park with the promise of ice cream and Axel relented after quite a lot of fuss. And of all the things Axel saw that day, he remembered the blue the best. It wasn’t the blue of the sky either but it definitely reminded Axel of the sky with just how piercingly bright it was. And to think, all he did was stroll past a bench, heard a noise and turned just in time to lock eyes with another young boy. And god, were those eyes the bluest he had ever seen.

For a moment, Axel had been floored as those eyes seemed to stare right through him and even though he was only 9 and didn’t really understand all that stuff adults always talked about with finding people pretty or being captivated in their eyes, suddenly in that moment…Axel GOT it. And the surprise of it made him do two things at once; he gave the owner of those blue eyes the widest grin he could manage and winked right before his father dragged him off through the crowd.

As Axel grew up, he would occasionally think of those blue eyes and the boy they belonged too. He vaguely remembered him now; with his sandy blonde hair and well-tanned complexion, and Axel wondered where he came from and who he was. With eyes like that, young Axel thought that maybe he was a being on a whole different level and sometimes he wondered if he’d ever see that boy again.

The possibilities of that happening were close to none, of course, especially with a city as big as New York. And who knew if that boy even lived in the city to begin with. It was no good dwelling on it so Axel did his best to put the whole idea out of his mind. Years passed; Axel went to school, almost dropped out, finally graduated, then absolutely refused to go to college.

“They’ll just drain the money out of you! And I don’t have money for them to drain!” he had insisted to his father and went to a vocational school instead. Which turned out to be the right choice. Axel always liked TV…not necessarily watching it but more the workings of it; all the backstage effort that went into creating high quality productions. Maybe the content was questionable a lot of the time, but Axel couldn’t deny that things LOOKED good on TV. Especially on the bigger networks.

So vocational school really panned out and with that skill set, Axel managed to snag himself a job in some of that behind the scenes work he liked so much. A better paying job than bussing tables too and Axel was FINALLY able to get a place of his own.

“You’re officially an adult now, Axel,” his father had said with a teary smile and Axel grinned wide.

“I’ll be like…a few blocks away. If you desperately need something broken, you can just yell out your window or something.”

His father had chuckled, hugging him incredibly tight and not letting go for a good long minute, making Axel whine out a long “daaaaaaaaaad.”

And when Axel finally moved in to his new place, he spent a good long minute just standing amongst the boxes on boxes of all of his crap, staring out the window wistfully. Maybe, he thought, I’ll get a cat. That idea was quickly stomped on by the landlord so Axel got a chinchilla instead. Which turned out to be a better pet on some level. It was definitely softer and Axel didn’t have to worry about it knocking over expensive video equipment when he wasn’t home. He named it Peanut.

As time went on, Axel adjusted to being a full-on bachelor in the great city of New York and as more time went on, he found himself being incredibly specific about dating. And he would fully admit that any pickiness was entirely on him and not the fault of anyone who happened to ask him out. But it was like those blue eyes haunted him and generally, it was a little bit frustrating. What, did he ACTUALLY expect to meet a stranger from 17 years ago? Absolutely ridiculous.

“Do you think it’s weird to try to measure your dating pool to someone you’ve only seen once?” he asked finally as he and his friend Saix sat down for coffee.

Saix arched a perfect eyebrow at him, pushing a blue strand of hair behind his ear. “’Seen’? Not even met?”

“Pretty much.”

“Yes.”

Axel sighed, rubbing a hand over his neck. “Damnit, I was hoping you’d be like ‘no Axel, you’re perfectly normal, that’s not weird at all.’”

Saix gave him a little smirk, amusement playing in his green eyes. “Do you want me to sugarcoat this, Axel? I can, but it would be a lie,” he said with a shrug of a shoulder, taking a sip of coffee.

Axel sighed heavily. “No, you’re right. I just…can’t seem to get these…eyes out of my head. It’s pretty stupid, honestly.”

“Just eyes huh? Not much of a metric,” Saix commented, leaning his chin on his hand and studying Axel lazily.

Axel couldn’t help his groan of frustration. “I know! That’s what makes it annoying, honestly. And it was like…ages ago. I gotta learn to let things go but my brain won’t let me.”

“It’s atrophied from under-use,” Saix teased and Axel whined, lip wobbling and all.

“No support, unbelievable,” he breathed, Saix reaching over to pat his shoulder.

“There, there, I’m sure you’ll eventually find that perfect someone who will fit all one of your standards.”

And even thought Axel knew that his friend was just teasing, the thought tugged at him mind for months on end. It was simultaneously such a specific yet generic standard and Axel wasn’t even sure how it was this hard for his brain and his heart to agree that ‘yes, this person is wonderful and I want to date them.’ With all this clouding his brain, Axel took to people watching. He was fairly social as it was but when he took the subway, he let himself sink into his thoughts and just watch. People were fascinating in general and the shit they did when they thought no one was looking could form a rather large book of oddities. And maybe somewhere deep, DEEP down Axel hoped to find those blue eyes.

One day close to Axel’s 27th birthday, he was running late for work. It figures that he’d be dumb enough to forget to set his alarm. Even though his definition of ‘late’ was actually just ‘on time’ for most people since he usually just liked being early. He raced to get dressed and fed before grabbing his bike and biking to the subway in as much of a hurry as he could muster.

For the time of morning that it was, the train wasn’t as packed as he expected. No seats…but that was okay. Axel wheeled his bike onboard, stopping to the side of the doors and yawning loudly. Was it worth the 20 extra minutes of sleep if he was gonna be just ‘on time’ instead of early? He wasn’t sure yet. Still, he let his eyes wander the train car, blinking sleepily. There was a violet haired young man, slouched over a tablet and Axel wondered how it was he could even see with his bangs covering most of his face. A much taller brunette sat beside him, practically made of muscle with arms folded and expression rather pensive. Occasionally, the violet haired young man would stop his typing and ask his companion something to which the taller man would reply quite gently. What an odd team, Axel considered, rubbing at his eyes and letting his gaze continue its lazy path from person to person.

Someone slid past him to get closer to the door and Axel absently found himself peering at them. Another young man, notably shorter than Axel (which was pretty normal considering Axel towered above most people) yawned gently, his eyes focused on his phone. He seemed to be concentrating very, VERY hard on studying the subway map but when the garbled voice came over the loud speaker, his head snapped up, listening intently. And it was then that Axel finally caught sight of his eyes. Blue. As piercing and blue as the skies above. Axel didn’t have enough poetry in him to explain how beautiful that blue was but he definitely stared. Blue eyes combined with that sandy blonde hair and tan skin.

No way…

Axel blinked, clenching his eyes shut for a few moments. When he opened them again, the young man was still there, this time on his phone.

“Hey Olette…what’s my stop again? Huh? Oh, right! I know, I’m sorry, I promise I know things. Thank you!” he was saying and Axel felt smitten on the spot. Oh god…OH GOD, this was that kid. That kid from years ago! How even…what even…when even?? Axel’s brain farted out for a good minute and he almost missed his stop, only realizing that it was indeed his stop when the sandy haired boy went to get off the train as well.

Oh no, this was gonna be a problem. And not a bad problem but a problem never-the-less. Axel had to remind himself NOT to stare and NOT to be weird to this stranger who he didn’t know and who definitely did not know him. But those eyes…god, how do you approach a stranger on the subway without being a total freaking creep?

For the longest time, Axel had no answer to that so he contented himself with nonchalantly peering at the young man if they just happened to be on the same train. Which Axel may or may not have begun to take on purpose. Which meant being on time more than being early but he was alright with that if it meant getting to just peer at this blue-eyed stranger. And god, he was cute. Axel was never sure what would qualify as ‘his type’ but now he could safely say it was probably this young man. Which, all told, was a very limited type.

Still, Axel had no idea how to approach this so he didn’t. Months turned into a year and Axel was nearing 28 now. He felt a bit pathetic, frankly, not even being to say hello to someone because he was so mesmerized by their eyes. And maybe fate or something had smiled down upon him because one night while traveling with his bike, he noticed the sandy haired boy seated in the same train car. He looked a bit wobbly, like he had just a drink too many but was still coherent and Axel felt a warmth in his heart that he couldn’t quite explain. He was just gonna leave it at that, he didn’t want to be weird around someone who’d been drinking when he heard; “’S a nice bike,” partially slurred at him from the sandy haired young man.

Axel blinked. Oh no, mouth…move! “Yeah, it does alright,” spilled forth from him and he wasn’t sure what to think of himself as he spoke.

The young man seemed to be considering, closing his eyes. “Sorry,” he muttered and Axel wanted nothing more than to protect him suddenly.

“No harm done,” he said in what he hoped was a reassuring voice while the internal struggle to protect only grew. And god…he really was cute. Alright Axel, no funny business, don’t be a creep, his brain reminded him. Axel took in a deep breath just as the loud speaker garbled out his stop.

“Get home safe, yeah?” he found himself saying before wheeling his bike off the train. And he wasn’t sure…but he could have sworn those blue eyes followed him and as Axel picked up his bike to get on the escalator, he looked back, their gazes locking for that brief second before the train whisked the other away. Axel could barely think on his slow bike ride home and had to hug Peanut for quite a while before his brain decided to work again.

The next time they interacted was completely by accident. Maybe fate was kind of on Axel’s side but he seized the chance just like he seized the fallen stylus and let himself say words he didn’t think he’d let himself say. Words like “You know, I keep seeing you on this train” and “name’s Axel” among others. The sandy haired young man turned out to be named Roxas and Axel swished that name around his brain for a while.

Roxas.

Rooooooxas.

He liked that name. It seemed to flow very well with his own.

The next time Axel saw Saix he was more than ecstatic to share the news with his friend. They went to Harry’s for brunch and while the wait time was a little more than ridiculous, Axel decided he didn’t mind waiting. Saix watched him curiously.

“You’re…practically glowing. Something good happen?”

Axel beamed. “Well, if you must know, all one of my standards have been met.”

Saix blinked at him, eyebrow quirking. “And that means?”

“Well remember last year I told you about my one really dumb standard? And how that standard came from seeing a dude like…once?”

“I do recall, yes.”

“Weeeeeell, you’re never gonna believe who lives on my line and takes my train.”

“Wait…really? This person ACTUALLY exists?”

“Yup! His name is Roxas.”

Saix let out a little laugh of disbelief, watching Axel’s face absolutely radiate with glee. “You weren’t a total creep to this guy, were you?” he asked with a winged eyebrow, Axel grunting.

“Hey! What do you take me for?”

“A perfectly rational person who sometimes lets their excitement get the better of them.”

Axel blinked before rubbing a hand through his hair. “That…alright…fair. But no! I wasn’t! The first time we talked he was a bit drunk, BUT, I just told him to get home safe and that was that. Next time he just happened to drop his stylus so I helped him out.”

Saix squinted at Axel for a moment before relenting, Axel holding open the door as the hostess called them for their table. “So you found the opportunity for an introduction, huh?”

“Yup! I mean…I don’t wanna push any boundaries or anything,” Axel said quickly, hands gesticulating as the two of them followed the hostess, “but what are the chances of any of this even happening?”

Saix’ smile was soft. “You always were lucky, Axel.”

Axel grinned wide as they sat down, taking a moment to stare at their respective menus. A waiter bustled over soon after, taking their orders and it was only when he left that Axel peered at Saix again.

“How are things with you?”

“Oh, you know…living the dream.”

Axel’s brows drew into a frown. “Sai…”

“Don’t worry, I took care of it.”

“Sai. Do you need me to kick his ass? Because I 100% will. I will throw down any time any place.”

Saix actually laughed softly, patting Axel’s hand. “I know you will. It’s alright. But I don’t need you going to jail because of him. Please don’t worry.”

“You KNOW that I do,” Axel said carefully and Saix’s smile remained.

“I know. Thank you. I promise it’s fine.”

“Did you go to the police?”

“I filed a restraining order,” Saix said as he took a sip of water and Axel let out a long breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“I swear to fuck, I’m gonna whoop his ass one day.”

“Axel…”

Axel grimaced for a moment before heaving a sigh. “I’m sorry I brought it up…I just…”

“You worry, I know.”

“And you’re..?”

“I’ve been a lot better, especially recently,” Saix said almost gently and when he smiled, it was soft. Axel’s own expression eased and he reached over the table, patting his friend’s hand in turn.

“If you ever need anything…I mean EVER…I’m only a call away.”

That soft smile remained. “Thank you.”

Slowly, the conversation drifted to other, much happier topics and Axel took a moment to observe his friend. He definitely looked a LOT better than he had for a few months; happier and more relaxed. Axel still swore that if he ever saw that dude ever again, he would give him a piece of his mind for being a complete scumbag to his best friend. And he’d tried his best to be there for Saix during the whole ordeal but Saix was usually one to try and take care of his issues alone. It took Axel almost literally storming his apartment before something unfortunate happened for Saix to finally accept his help. He still refused to let Axel whoop some ass though.

Just as they were chatting about the new stupid rules at work, Axel just happened to look up and there was Roxas. He hadn’t expected to see Roxas on his day off and NOT on the subway but the sight of that sandy blonde hair made his face crack into the stupidest and sappiest grin. He noticed the brunette that preceded Roxas out the door and the much taller, silver haired young man that followed him. Roxas didn’t seem to be interested in looking around but the silver haired man was letting his eyes wander lazily around the restaurant before they landed on Axel. He looked like he realized something important at Axel’s incredibly excited expression and even smirked before pushing the door open and disappearing outside.

Saix quirked an eyebrow at him. “Axel?”

“Roxas was here, Sai!”

“Your crush?” Saix’ tone was teasing but Axel wouldn’t be deterred, grinning ever wider.

“Yes! Look,” he nudged Saix towards the window they sat next to, letting his friend peer outside. Roxas had stopped close to the entrance with his two companions, his hands covering his face. The silver haired young man seemed to be saying something while the shorter brunette nudged Roxas with an elbow. Saix studied the whole interaction through the window before peering at Axel.

“Those two look related,” he commented and Axel peered through the window once more, trying not to be overly nosey.

“Huh…you’re right…they’ve got those same eyes.”

“Another one to fill your whole ones of standards?”

Axel chuckled. “Nah, I only got eyes for one,” he said as the trio departed down the street, noting the darker brunette and silver haired young man clasp hands as they walked. Ah, so that’s how it was. Axel’s grin grew only wider. But even now, something started niggling at his thoughts. What if he was being way too…prevalent? Or obsessive? Axel considered. Maybe he should…relax. Lay off for a bit…calm his brain into considering that maybe Roxas wouldn’t appreciate this sort of attention.

And then work happened. For the majority of the week, work began to call him in early. Breaking news here and breaking news there and Axel was up and at work at the wee hours of the morning. Which meant he missed the train. Which meant he missed Roxas. Axel considered it to be a good AND bad thing. It was good because it allowed him to give Roxas the space he knew he deserved but bad because…well…Axel kinda missed him…even if they WERE just strangers.

So when he ran into Roxas again and was finally able to ask him for what he considered just a casual date, it was more than a little exciting. Especially considering that Roxas not only accepted but seemed…really happy to accept? Axel thought that notion was probably mostly in his head. He was just projecting, that’s all. But still, he tried his best to not be pushy in any manner and create as relaxed an atmosphere as he could.

Then Roxas was confessing and Axel’s mind went blank for a good few moments. Oh…my god…was this what he THOUGHT it was?? Was this REAL?? How even and when even and what?? Axel swallowed thickly. Okay, Axel, don’t blow this. He’s practically pouring his heart out here and you mustn’t do or say anything that would make him feel like he shouldn’t have done that. Legitimize these feelings, damnit.

So, Axel did just that. He meant what he said. He wanted this to be a date…more than anything. But there was no way he would step over any boundaries if Roxas didn’t want this. Roxas’ hand was soft beneath his but Axel was prepared to move it at any sign that Roxas was uncomfortable. He even neighed to lighten the mood.

“I’d…very much like…if we maybe…made this a thing. Like…a date…” Roxas breathed at last and Axel’s whole world came suddenly into sharp focus. Oh my god. It took him a moment but finally, as his brain registered everything, he grinned.

“I also…would very much like that,” he said and the expression on Roxas’ face in response was pure beauty. The corners of those blue eyes crinkled as he smiled and that smile was everything. If Axel could, he would write sappy poetry about that smile. Instead, he let his fingers trace over Roxas’ knuckles as they finished their meal. When they walked back to the subway, chatting affably, Roxas’ hand slowly slid between Axel’s fingers, wrapping around them and Axel blinked, peering down at first before grinning wide and allowing himself to clasp that hand.

God…what were the chances…

They took the train together while still holding hands and standing so close that Axel was sure he was breaking some kind of propriety law.

“You know it just occurred to me,” he said after some thought, waiting for Roxas to look at him, “but if we’re gonna try out this ‘dating’ thing, I should probably have your phone number. I mean…what if I wanna send some really sappy texts super late at night or something.”

Roxas snorted despite himself. “A compelling point, sir,” he said with an easy shrug of a shoulder, stepping back to dig out his phone. Axel stole it from him in a heartbeat, typing in his number and handing it back to its owner. Roxas blinked.

“Really?”

“Yup.”

“That’s so lame,” Roxas laughed as he stared at the name Axel had put himself under. Axel grinned wide and shrugged.

“You say ‘lame’ but I say ‘heartwarming’,” he said easily while Roxas snorted, shooting him a text so he’d have his number as well.

 _Hey there, ‘shnookums’_ , it read and Axel laughed loudly. Well, he DID start this. Now he had to live with it, he thought, saving Roxas under ‘The cutest nerd’.

Said cutest nerd was currently staring at their hands thoughtfully. “I honestly never thought this would happen…” he muttered and Axel smiled gently, carefully adjusting his grip on the pole as the train pulled into the next stop.

“I mean…honestly, me too. So…I WAS right before. We HAVE met.”

Roxas snorted. “We didn’t MEET,” he said, almost defensively, “we SAW each other. Once. How long ago now?”

“I dunno, it was a while,” Axel lied, knowing full well that it was 19 years now and refusing to admit that he still remembered. Roxas, by the looks on his face, seemed to catch the lie but also seemed to refuse to admit how long it actually had been so he let it go at that.

“A while, yeah,” he echoed and his fingers clenched around Axel’s hand, “it’s…quite something.”

“Yeah…” Axel breathed dreamily and grinned when Roxas looked up at him, “I’m just…glad I didn’t scare you off. I thought ‘oh god I’m being that creepy dude on public transport that stares at strangers until they either leave or punch them. Oh god I don’t wanna be that creepy dude.’”

Roxas couldn’t help but laugh. “Well…you know…I kinda thought the same so…we sure make quite the team.”

“Yeah…”

When they were just about to Axel’s stop, he carefully withdrew his hand. “I hope today was adequate,” he said with a charming grin to which Roxas let out a loud “pffttt.”

“More than adequate,” Roxas promised and smiled as Axel reached down, carefully booping him on the nose.

“Till next time, you cute nerd.”

“Later, _shnookums,_ ” Roxas laughed, Axel winking and hopping off the train.

STAND CLEAR OF THE CLOSING DOORS, echoed behind him and as he reached the escalator, he looked back briefly, seeing Roxas. The blonde smiled and waved and Axel waved back before the train whisked him out of sight.

Axel barely remembered his walk home and when he got home and closed his front door, he leaned back against it for minutes on end, wistfully staring at his ceiling. What a day…he hadn’t expected it to go this way in ANY capacity and the fact that it did was some kind of miracle. Axel had to reach down to pinch himself, wheezing slightly when he felt the sharp pain. Yup, it was definitely real. He shoved off the door after some time, finally lumbering off to the bathroom to shower and change.

It was nighttime now and Axel lounged on his couch in pjs, one leg slung over the couch’s back and Peanut regally seated on his chest. “You’re not gonna believe it, Peanut, but daddy made a very special friend,” he crooned to the chinchilla who cooed back at him, nuzzling into his pajama shirt and letting Axel gently pet his head.

“Next time you’ll get to meet him, little dude. I’m sure he’ll be honored,” Axel chuckled and definitely believed that there would be a next time. He didn’t blow it. They had held hands. More than once! It was silly just how exciting such a simple act felt, especially when it was perfectly normal in Axel’s mind for friends to hold hands as well. But this felt…like more than that and that feeling made Axel warm and fuzzy all over.

God…Saix would never let him live this sappy feeling down and honestly? Axel was okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi y'all! this fic was originally gonna be only Roxas POV but like...Axel is my favorite KH character (besides Demyx, Namine and Olette) so I thought I'd give him the spotlight for once. Axel has a single dad parent because fight me that's why.
> 
> That also gave me a good excuse to write about Saix and include Saix whom I love and care a lot about. And who's the problem guy? I mean, I didn't wanna say Xemnas in the fic but it's 100% Xemnas and if you guessed that, you get my love and adoration and maybe like... a cookie or something.
> 
> I'm also thinking of doing little one-shots in this universe because I have a lot of ideas about a lot of the other characters but I'm also horrible at finishing things so we'll see where it goes.
> 
> let's play; spot the cameo. remember, not everyone depicted together are an actual couple so don't read too much into it okay? cool? yes.
> 
> anyway! thank you everyone for reading; all comments and kudoes always treasured and appreciated! Peanut says he loves you all.


	6. Axel; the second cutest boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello this chapter is 11 pages in Word....have fun!

Roxas rode on a perpetual high after the date and even his dreams were full of that same emotion he couldn’t quite place yet. And when he woke up, he actually couldn’t believe it happened and was only alerted that yeah, it totally did, when his phone lit up with a text from Axel, brightening the screen at 10 in the morning.

_I hope this isn’t too soon or something but last night was great! We should hang out again sometime…when you’re free of course…and if you wanna._

Roxas couldn’t hold back a smile. ‘If you wanna’? Of course he’d wanna! What kind of dating would it be if he didn’t wanna ‘hang out’ with Axel again? It was also frankly amusing that Axel still stuck to such neutral terminology. ‘Hang out.’ Honestly.

Rolling over onto his side, Roxas had to keep from practically hugging the phone to himself as he read the text once, then twice, smile ever present.

 _Of course, I wanna, you nerd,_ he shot back and snorted as Axel’s reply was almost instant.

 _Whoa whoa, no need for name calling, I’m just making sure_ _😉_

_Well, you’re safe, I definitely wanna ‘hang out’ as you put it._

_Why’d you put it in quotes?_

_Why’d you call it ‘hanging out’ when we agreed we’re dating?_ Roxas shot back. This time the reply was a bit slower.

_I don’t wanna seem too pushy, I guess? It’s only day one, you know._

Roxas’ smile warmed. God…what did he do to manage to snag such a man?? And it really was only day 1! _Axel,_ he replied, _it’s fine, you can absolutely call it what it actually is._

_Roger that. So…would you like to go on a date then? When you’re free of course._

Roxas considered, tapping out of the texts to check his calendar. Free…when WAS he free? Tomorrow? No…Next Saturday? Nope…It took some scrolling to find a free day and Roxas sighed. _Free is…hard to come by,_ he typed back at last, _but if you maybe want meet after work, I’d very much like that._

_Mmmm that busy huh?_

_We’re 3 months from opening so it’s crunch time._

_Fair, fair. Tuesday night maybe? You can even text me when you get off work if you don’t know for sure._

Roxas considered, staring at his calendar. Tuesday would be…yes. _Tuesday night works. I’m…70% sure we’ll be done around 8…ish? Probably._

 _Just text me, it’s no big,_ Axel replied. Roxas’ expression softened and he pressed his hands to his face for a moment, letting out a high-pitched noise. God, he was acting like a middle schooler.

 _Can do, shnookums,_ was his eventual reply, finally willing his hands to move. He could just picture Axel’s laughter at the continued use of the nickname and the image finally got Roxas out of bed and moving.

 _Have a great day, you cute nerd,_ was Axel’s reply, Roxas shooting him a _You too, Axel_ before he finally went to shower and change. He COULD have suggested their date for today but it would have felt way too much like he was trying to rush things. And Naminé would have killed him if he cancelled on her last minute. So Roxas got fed and ready before running out the door and to the subway, taking the 2 all the way uptown to Lincoln center and briskly walking to the east side of Central park. He saw Naminé before she saw him and flopped down on the bench beside her, wheezing out a sigh.

Naminé’s eyes unglued themselves from her sketchbook and she beamed. “Roxas!”

“Hey Nami!”

“Hey yourself, you sure kept me waiting,” she teased but relented as Roxas gave her a big hug as an apology, “fine, fine, forgiven for now. But honestly.”

“I’m sorry, I kinda…overslept.”

“A likely story. So. What’s his name?”

Roxas blinked stupidly at her and she smiled, practically waggling her eyebrows. “I see that look, Roxas. You’re glowing. That usually means someone’s in your life.”

“I…I didn’t SLEEP with anyone, Naminé!”

She laughed gently, making sure to attach her pencil to the sketchbook’s spiral before giving Roxas a good, long look. “I didn’t say that, Roxas. And I didn’t even imply it. And even if you DID, you’re 26 now, so it wouldn’t be anything to write home about. But honestly, you haven’t been this glowing since that crush you had on Tidus in middle school.”

Roxas grew a little pink. “You swore we wouldn’t talk about that.”

“Yes, yes. So?”

“Axel,” Roxas relented at last, Naminé considering the name.

“He sounds like he’d front a rock band or something,” she pointed out at last and Roxas couldn’t help a weak laugh.

“He looks like it too,” he said dreamily and Naminé giggled.

“Oh boy, you’ve definitely got it bad.”

Roxas groaned but didn’t have the heart to disagree since she was definitely right. Instead he said; “I didn’t come here on my one day off for you to make fun of me.”

Naminé rolled her eyes at him, adjusting her hold on her sketchbook. “I’m not making fun of you, Roxas. I think it’s great that you found someone you’re so interested in. Just…you know…don’t rush headlong into it, okay?”

“I don’t think there’s a threat of that happening, he’s very careful about my boundaries and such.”

“Awww! Well, you know…make sure you’re careful of his as well.”

“Of course,” Roxas said and his expression was so gentle that Naminé smiled brightly at him, carefully patting his arm.

“I’m happy for you, Roxas.”

“Maybe once we’ve got something more established and gone on a few more dates, I can expose him to the all of you,” Roxas said but sounded almost hesitant.

Naminé giggled again, head tilting and fingers brushing through her golden blonde hair. “Afraid to show off your new man to your family?”

“Absolutely, yes. Uncle Leon might kill him or something.”

“Oh, come on, he wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Roxas eyed her warily. “Naminé, he trains COPS.”

Naminé pursed her lips for a moment, breathing out a low “mmmm” before clapping her hands together, smile sheepish. “Well, you’re lucky he and uncle Cloud are in New Jersey then.”

“Yeah but for how long? Did Sora talk to you? Cuz he and Riku are moving up here.”

“Oh! No, he didn’t yet but I have a few missed calls from him that I completely forgot to return,” Naminé’s sheepish smile remained, fingers continuing to idly run through her hair.

“They both got jobs in the city…or around the city, in Sora’s case.”

“Goodness, before you know it, Grandpa Eraqus will be moving here too.”

Roxas groaned. “We don’t need to bring the whole circus to New York, thank you.”

Naminé laughed again, nudging Roxas to indicate a tree she wanted to sit under. Roxas moved without asking why, sitting back comfortably on a tree root while Naminé flipped her sketchbook open, setting in the grass.

“How’s the museum stuff going?” he asked after they sat in silence for a bit, pencil scritching softly at the paper of Naminé’s sketchbook. She smiled idly at it, peering up at Roxas before looking down once more.

“I love it but I think mama misses me…she’s started sending me flowers almost every month.”

Roxas chuckled, peering at Naminé. “Just Aunt Aerith?”

“Mom isn’t the flower sending type,” Naminé said but her expression was gentle, chewing on her bottom lip, “they’re making me wanna move back home.”

“What, no way!”

“I mean…not really…this is a dream job but I DO miss them.”

“Aunt Tifa would kick your ass if you showed up back home.”

Naminé heaved a sigh, eyebrows furrowing as she scribbled in her sketchbook. “I know, I know. I think mama would too.”

“If you’re feeling homesick, we could always visit. It’s just a train ride away,” Roxas said nonchalantly and Naminé laughed.

“You just miss mama’s baking.”

“Yes…yes I do, and I feel no shame.”

Eventually, their talk shifted to other things as Naminé sketched, expression intent on the pages of her sketchbook. Roxas loved watching her work; her hand sliding across the paper, pencil furiously scribbling, overlaying line over line.

“Roxas, what does Axel look like?” Naminé asked after some time and Roxas grew a little pink.

“If I try to describe him, you’ll make fun of me for being a nerd.”

“Probably. Don’t you have a picture?”

“Well…no…not yet anyway. But give me a break, we’ve only been dating for…a whopping 2 days.”

“Well,” she said, pausing to peer up at him through her bangs, “when you DO get a picture of him or with him, you should…share it.”

“Are you gonna draw him?”

“Mmmmm…”

“Naminé…”

“Mmmmm.”

“Naminé.”

“Anything is possible, Roxas, if you dream big,” she said, answering nothing before hefting herself up to drag Roxas out for lunch and a day around the city. By the time they separated, it was nearly 10 and Roxas almost fell asleep on the train despite his best efforts. One moment his eyes were open, the next they’d close and he’d nod off against a pole, only snapping back into wakefulness when garbled gibberish boomed above him.

In this sleepy, hazy state of mind, Roxas couldn’t help but think of Axel. He wondered what Axel was doing and whether everything was alright. He could, of course, just TEXT Axel. Absolutely nothing was stopping him from doing just that. Except maybe a niggling thought at the back of his mind. Don’t be too needy Roxas, it said. Let him go about his day. Text him tomorrow.

Roxas dug out his phone, carefully adjusting his hold on the pole and realizing with a pang that he had a text from Axel. So much for letting him go about his day, Roxas thought with a soft smile as his thumb swiped at the text and finding himself staring at the face of a very fluffy, silvery gray chinchilla. He could just make out a hand carefully cradling the critter, black nail polish dotting the nails.

 _Peanut says hi and hopes you’re having a great day,_ the message read and Roxas couldn’t help but laugh, cupping a hand to his cheek. Oh my gosh…the chinchilla’s name was Peanut.

 _You’re gonna give me diabetes with this,_ Roxas complained in response, leaning his forehead against the pole again and staring at his phone until it lit up again.

_Peanut resents the accusations, sir._

_Well, tell Peanut he’s the cutest boy I’ve ever seen,_ Roxas replied, only peering up at the train’s display to make sure he didn’t miss his stop.

_Wow…I’m both really hurt and really flattered on his behalf._

_Well okay, you’re the…second cutest boy I’ve ever seen._

_You know what…that’s completely fair._

Roxas couldn’t hold back another laugh, covering his mouth with a hand and finally shoving off the pole as the train pulled into his stop. He wanted to say a bit more like; ‘I can’t wait to see you Tuesday’ or something sappier but he couldn’t. It would…feel…too rushed? And Roxas didn’t want it to look like he was rushing. He wasn’t. So instead he wrote; _I hope you’re having a great night, Axel. I’ll see you soon._

_Sleep well, Roxas._

And Roxas couldn’t say if he did. That night he dreamt of clear skies and a never-ending ocean stretching all around him as he walked on the water’s surface, feet bare of any shoes and wind rustling through his hair. Somewhere in the distance, there was a light and Roxas sped up, splashing over the glassy surface of the water as he broke into a run. The light was always there…always a little out of reach but he just thought that if he reached out further…if he ran faster…he would touch that light. He would make it part of him.

 _Sleep well, Roxas,_ echoed in his head as he ran and Roxas wasn’t sure why but tears stung his eyes. He didn’t want to sleep…he wanted to reach that light. He wanted to touch it. He HAD to reach it.

_Sleep well_

No

_Sleep_

No!

_Roxas…_

And the light was right there…mere inches away and Roxas stretched out his fingers to grasp it, feeling its warmth and…

Roxas awoke to the blaring sound of his alarm. He blinked stupidly at his ceiling before letting out a loud groan and ramming a pillow on his face. Damnit. Damnit….

Maybe one day.

Roxas stumbled through his Monday without paying much attention to it, buried deep in his own thoughts. Rehearsals went as well as they could have but he didn’t get done until late and sat on his bed staring at his phone. Just text him…you’re dating. It’s an okay thing to do…just text him.

So, he typed a message…then deleted it. Then retyped that same message…then deleted it again. This went on for a good 10 minutes before Roxas FINALLY forced himself to hit send. He was being a huge stinking dumbass about all of this. Still…it was late and he didn’t expect Axel to respond so Roxas got ready for bed, occasionally peering at his phone. It was…a little disappointing but Roxas decided he was being incredibly selfish in expecting Axel to always be available to talk.

He fell asleep without getting an answer.

When Tuesday dawned and Roxas hauled himself out of bed to get ready for his day, a message from Axel awaited him.

_Hey, sorry I’m replying so late. I figure you’re asleep by now. Sweet dreams!_

Roxas couldn’t help but smile at his phone as he got ready. Tonight would be their date so he tried his best to not dress like a total schlub, pulling it off to a moderate success; black skinny jeans, Vans, a newer t-shirt and a very nice, cozy looking sweater that didn’t scream 10 HOURS OF ELECTRICAL WORK KILLS CLOTHING at anyone looking. Apparently, all new clothes set a statement.

“Got a date tonight or something?” Hayner teased as a way of morning greeting and Roxas huffed.

“If you must know, yes.”

Olette smiled brightly at him. “Awww Roxas, that’s great!”

“What, does a new pair of pants really give it away?”

Hayner snickered. “Those are like…calling attention to your ass. You’re not subtle.”

Roxas flushed scarlet but smacked Hayner in the arm. “Well stop staring at my ass then,” he shot back, Hayner hooting with laughter as he scurried backstage. Pence beamed at him.

“It’s not a bad thing. You look great, Roxas!”

“Thanks,” Roxas grumbled, tugging at the hem of his sweater while Olette patted his arm.

“There, there, he’s just jealous his ass is as flat as a board,” she commented, making Hayner squawk from backstage, peering around the curtains.

“Rude, I heard that!”

Olette smiled sweetly. “Good,” she said, ushering a spluttering Hayner backstage while Pence followed after, laughing. Roxas chuckled, grabbing his radio and starting to go around the lights for a check. Time passed about as hectic as usual, and Roxas only had time to think about anything else during his lunch while Hayner and Pence chatted about some of the sound issues they had to try and fix, Olette staring intently at her script.

Roxas only barely realized that he should probably text Axel around 6 at night, frowning at his own forgetfulness and stalking off to the bathroom.

_Hey Axel! I’ll be off in about 2 hours if you wanna meet somewhere? If it’s a bit too late notice we can always…I dunno…reschedule?_

He felt a bit silly, sitting on the toilet in a closed stall just in case someone came in and caught him staring dreamily at his phone. Roxas didn’t need that judgement.

_No, no! We’re still good for tonight! Natsumi at 830?_

Roxas’ dreamy smile only grew and he licked his lips.   _Sounds great! See you soon!_

At least that would get him through the last couple of hours, Roxas decided as he flushed the toilet needlessly, tucking his phone in his back pocket as he went. He wondered if these jeans really DID do wonders for his ass and had to resist the temptation to check the truth of it in the mirror. It didn’t matter…honestly…

Even at 8:20 Roxas was only just running out of the theater with a speedy goodbye to his friends.

“Get some, Rox!” Hayner called after him and Roxas had to resist the urge to throw something at him, departing down the street at a hasty jog. It was just his luck that he’d be late to their very second date. By the time he reached the sushi place, he could just make out Axel’s red hair through the crowd, trying to wave at him.

Axel seemed to have caught sight of Roxas and grinned, returning the wave just as Roxas screeched to a halt beside him, doubling over to pant for air.

“I…am so…sorry,” he heaved, clutching at his knees, “I can’t…be trusted…with time…”

Axel laughed, waiting for Roxas to catch his breath and straighten up before smiling wide. “You’re fine,” he said easily, “we said 8:30 and it just happens to beeeeeee… 8:29.”

“Oh, thank god,” Roxas wheezed and found Axel’s hand carefully rubbing circles over his back.

“A few minutes wouldn’t have killed me,” Axel said with a nonchalant shrug.

“Have you been waiting?”

“Nah,” was the easy response that made Roxas think that Axel had DEFINITELY been waiting. He frowned. Axel grinned. “You’re fiiiine, Roxas. I promise. Come on.”

Roxas sighed gently, relenting and following Axel inside. Axel had clearly prepared and made reservations, which was a blessing on so many levels as they were able to be seated immediately, Roxas’ stomach rumbling a little too loudly for his liking. Roxas grew a little pink, covering his face with a menu while Axel chuckled.

“Long day, huh?”

“Oh man, don’t get me started. I’m gonna be so relieved when we finally premier,” Roxas sighed, lowering the menu and peering at Axel. God, in the gentle glow of the restaurant lights he looked absolutely gorgeous. The pale gold of the lamps reflected in the reds of his hair and made it look like flames, the golden light bouncing as Axel moved. He had left his hair down too and Roxas wanted nothing more than to run his fingers through it. He bet it would be really soft…

Roxas had noted that Axel very much dressed like he would imagine an Axel would; sporting a leather jacket and a plaid shirt underneath, complemented with black boots and jeans and Roxas could just imagine him fronting a rock band of some kind instead of working behind the scenes at a news network. What an odd contradiction, Roxas though, almost getting lost in those green eyes.

He must have spaced out for quite a while, taking in the whole of Axel before Axel waved a hand in front of him, head tilting. “Earth to Roxas, you with me?”

“Oh! I’m…really sorry!” Roxas wheezed, feeling his face flush and hiding behind his menu again. Way to go, Roxas. When he looked up again, Axel’s expression was incredibly soft, leaning his chin on his hand.

“See something you like?” he said with a waggle of eyebrows and Roxas made a noise which could only been described as a squeak, hiding behind his menu for the third time. Axel laughed and Roxas sighed internally, yanking the menu back down. He was being childish.

“I’m sorry,” he said at last, “it’s been…a long while since I’ve done the ‘dating’ thing and I’m pretty sure it’s showing.”

Axel smiled. “You need to stop apologizing, Roxas,” he said calmly, “everyone’s got their own pace in dating yeah? This is no big deal. Sides, if I’m reading things right, looks like my vain efforts to look good are paying off,” he added with a laugh.

Roxas flushed but smiled. “Well…you’d be right. You look great.”

Axel’s smile only widened and Roxas swore he saw his cheeks grow a little pink. “Maybe I’ll put in effort more often, huh?”

“Why? You always look great, effort or no,” Roxas found himself saying and Axel blinked at him before reaching across the table and carefully wrapping a hand around Roxas’.

“Jeepers, mister, how’d you get good at compliments all the sudden?” he teased and Roxas pinched him.

Eventually, a waiter appeared to take their orders and bring them drinks, Axel pulling his hand back much to Roxas’ dismay. Still, the restaurant was nice and Roxas was thoroughly enjoying spending time with Axel so he couldn’t really complain. And Axel definitely liked to talk. He continued with their previous date’s theme of asking Roxas a lot of rather benign, innocuous questions to which Roxas answered far more easily now.

“You know,” he said, as their sushi arrived, “I’d be perfectly okay with answering stuff that’s not so…”

“Benign?”

“Yeah.”

“When’s the last time you had sex?” Axel asked, completely straight faced, as he picked up his chopsticks.

Roxas spluttered loudly. “That’s not what I meant,” he managed to wheeze out as Axel laughed.

“Relax, I’m kidding. And honestly, your sexual history is your own business that changes nothing about my…appreciation for you,” he said and smiled gently, “but…mmm…maybe that was a bit in poor taste.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Roxas said at last after recovering from his own embarrassment, “I guess it’s kind of a dumb thing to be embarrassed by, huh?”

“Embarrassed? Yeah, maybe, sex is nothing to be embarrassed by but honestly whatever your answer, it’s completely valid.”

“Gee Axel, you’d get along great with Riku,” Roxas chuckled, Axel quirking an eyebrow at that, “oh you saw him at Harry’s probably. Really tall, silver hair? He’s my cousin’s like…long, LONG time boyfriend. And also a PhD psychology professor.”

Axel laughed. “Nah, I ain’t nearly that deep,” he said before digging into his sushi, Roxas following suit. God, he was hungry.

“You know,” he said after a few mouthfuls, “you ask about me a lot but I never really get the chance to ask about you. Trying to keep yourself mysterious?”

Axel snorted. “Oh yes, I’m that beautiful stranger from the subway who will never open up ever no matter what you say,” he teased with a cheeky grin before shrugging a shoulder, “well, what did you wanna know?”

“What are your parents like?”

“Cutting straight to the point huh?” Axel chuckled before considering, poking his bottom lip with a chopstick, “it’s just my dad, actually. My mom hasn’t been in the picture since I was like…6.”

“Oh, I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be. I love my dad.”

“Well, you know, considering how he raised you, he did very right.”

“Be still your flattering tongue,” Axel exhaled and Roxas laughed.

“What about the rest of your family?”

“Well, we’re not too close, you know. I think my friends are more my family than my family is,” Axel said, noting the look on Roxas’ face, “oh no, don’t give me that look. Honestly, I’m okay with it. They’re kinda shitty people outside of my dad and my grandma is way too homophobic for me to be around in any capacity.”

Roxas frowned. “Axel…”

“Honestly, Roxas, it’s just how it is, and I’ve come to peace with it,” he said softly while Roxas’ frown remained for a moment before he offered Axel a smile.

“My aunts would want to adopt you,” he chuckled, Axel quirking an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah?”

“My aunt Aerith has a flower shop in Connecticut and my aunt Tifa runs a martial arts dojo. They would LOVE you.”

“Awwww, I’m always down for having flower lesbian moms,” Axel said brightly, peering down at his sushi, “hey, you wanna try one? They’re quite delicious.”

“Sure,” Roxas said, expecting Axel to just…put one on his place. Instead Axel scooped up a piece of sushi with his chopsticks, holding it out for Roxas. Roxas felt his cheeks turn a little pink but…well, this was a date after all. He leaned over, carefully cradling a hand under the sushi and taking it in, in one bite. He could feel Axel’s eyes on him and when he sat back, the pink of his cheeks was far more pronounced.

“You’re right, that was really good” he managed after chewing, looking down at his own plate, “wanna…try one of mine?”

Axel smirked his devilish smirk. “You know it,” he said, letting Roxas scoop up a piece of sushi, carefully holding it out. And Roxas couldn’t help how his eyes focused on Axel’s lips or Axel’s hands as one of them carefully reached over to catch any falling rice. Those long pale fingers with the ever-present black nail polish which Roxas now noticed was dotted with tiny red roses. And maybe Roxas just really wanted to hold those hands or kiss those lips…or…his thoughts trailed off and instead, he reached over before Axel could lean back, carefully brushing his thumb at the edge of Axel’s mouth. Axel blinked and Roxas gave him a sweet, unassuming smile, pulling back.

“You had spicy mustard,” Roxas said simply before unabashedly licking said mustard off his thumb. Axel whistled.

“That innocent, embarrassed thing is such an act and I’m onto you,” the red head snickered. Roxas grinned despite himself.

“I have NO idea what you’re talking about, and I maintain my innocence,” he shot back, looking surprisingly pleased with himself. Axel snorted, taking a sip of his tea before slowly, their conversation returned to normal.

They chatted, finished their food and even had room to spare for dessert. When the check arrived, Roxas seized for it before Axel could even move.

“You paid last time. Now it’s my turn,” Roxas insisted, waving off any of Axel’s protests and nudging the bill and his credit card into the waiter’s hands before he could leave. He returned soon and Roxas scrambled to sign, digging out cash for tip.

When they hit the night air, Axel looked fairly satisfied and didn’t even wait, carefully wrapping his fingers around Roxas’ hand. Roxas, who had been hoping for that to happen, smiled gently, sidling closer to Axel as they strolled to the subway.

“I’m really glad you were able to make it out tonight, Roxas,” Axel said, peering down at Roxas who smiled up at the much taller red head.

“Yeah, me too. I’m sorry I’m not really…available more. It’s just been so hectic.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. We’ll make time when we can, right?”

“Absolutely.”

“I’m glad,” Axel said and Roxas saw how soft the expression in his eyes was and Roxas thought;…god…I think I’m more smitten than I ever realized.

“Me too,” he said softly in response and pressed to Axel’s side as they walked.

The subway ride back was just way too quick for Roxas and even though he had to be up early for work, he could have just hung around the city for hours if it meant spending quality time with Axel. And by the looks of it, it seemed that Axel thought the same. They were nearing Axel’s stop now and Axel withdrew his hand carefully from Roxas’ grip before spreading his arms out.

“May I?” he asked, almost sheepishly and it took Roxas a moment to realize what he meant. Oh god, please, he thought.

“Sure!” he said instead and fully leaned into the embrace of those arms. Axel was warm and comfortable against him; his slender arms lean with enough muscle that made Roxas feel incredibly secure in the hug.

“Thank you for tonight, Axel,” he said softly, face only half buried somewhere close to Axel’s chest which rumbled as Axel laughed gently.

“Always. I had fun.”

“Me too.”

Soon, the train was pulling into Axel’s stop and Roxas had to force himself to let go, smiling up at him. “Get home safe, shnookums.”

“You too, you cute nerd,” Axel winked as the doors hissed open, allowing him to hop off the train.

STAND CLEAR OF THE CLOSING DOORS, boomed above and soon the train was pulling away from the station and Roxas could still just see the red haired shape of Axel as he waved before the darkness of the tunnel swallowed him from view.

Roxas sighed dreamily before realizing with a pang that he forgot to get a picture of Axel. Welp, he thought, he’d just have one more thing to do next time they went out. Which, he hoped, would be very soon. That was some quality hugging and Roxas kind of wanted a lot more of it. Among maybe other things if things went right and if he didn’t do something incredibly stupid to drive Axel away. But then again, he couldn’t imagine himself being so horrible or Axel being deterred by Roxas’ own regular silliness.

Roxas couldn’t help but smile at his own reflection in the train window. Uncle Leon would like this one. As for his own father…welp…only time would tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello I love Naminé and I will personally fight Square enix for their treatment of her. it's part of the reason why Xion's existence bothers me so much? like sure, Nomura sure loves his trios (and is terrified of having either male-male friendships or female-female...anything honestly) but Naminé would have fit so neatly in with Axel and Roxas since they both knew her but no...here comes another girl retconned into a friendship. It's not the idea that "oh no, this game doesn't need more female characters" because it 100000000000% does. Give me more ladies Square. But Nomura also doesn't really know how to WRITE women outside of the damsel in distress, no homo trope (outside of Aqua but even she got damseled in KH3) and it's the flipping worst. 
> 
> in other news, this is honestly turning into a bit of a bigger thing than planned. Now Roxas definitely has a huge family and there will likely be more small stories set in this boring as hell AU because I love writing about big families and love and care for each other. like...I had to write down a family tree and stuff. It's a little ridiculous.
> 
> anyway thank you for reading, as always and comments and kudoes are always incredibly appreciated!


	7. His kiss the riot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi! I'm back! I'm sorry for no updates! I had to get cosplay ready for Pax East and that meant pretty much no time to write. Also, my computer is STILL blue screening on me and I had no time to deal with it.
> 
> anyway! here there be gays and a chapter where almost nothing happens because what is plot anyway lolol

At least 2 weeks and more than a few Axel dates later, Demyx appeared at the theater. Or more like, he was invited in, the director actually pulling people together to introduce their new guitarist to the cast and crew. Demyx looked absolutely mortified by all the direct attention but seemed to be doing his best to keep his cool, Roxas shooting him a grin and a thumbs up from where he stood at the front.

“And I suppose we have Roxas to thank for bringing us together with our new guitarist, so good job,” the director said easily, as if she had noticed the gesture and Roxas laughed sheepishly.

“I just pointed him in the right direction,” he said with a shrug, “his talent’s what brought him here.”

Roxas heard Demyx make a little noise and grinned despite himself. The director smiled evenly before mentioning the mandatory meeting in 20 minutes and departing. Eventually, the crowd dispersed as well and Demyx hopped down from the stage to join Roxas.

“Roxas,” he whispered, “Roxas, oh my god.”

“Good job, Dem,” Roxas laughed.

Demyx inhaled deep, rubbing a hand over his face. “I couldn’t BELIEVE when I got the phone call. I still can’t believe it. Pinch me,” he insisted, practically shoving his arm in Roxas’ face. Roxas couldn’t help but laugh again, eventually obliging.

“Oww! Roxas, oh my god, I’m NOT dreaming!”

“Nope.”

“I’m on Broadway!”

“Yup.”

“Oh my god.”

“Yup.”

“Oh my god, Roxas, I have so much to learn.”

“You’ll be fine,” Roxas assured him, “just…maintain your regular due diligence and there’s nothing to worry about.”

Demyx wheezed out loudly, rubbing a hand through his hair nervously as he watched the various cast and crew members move around the stage. Olette spotted them over her script notes, waving down to them and Roxas beamed, waving back. Demyx managed a sheepish wave in return just as a much taller man came over to Olette, indicating her script notes carefully and handing her another paper to study. She thanked him and Roxas noted how Demyx’ eyes suddenly glued to the other man’s back, tracing up the long black braid that draped down to almost his butt, streaked with just enough silver. Roxas grinned despite himself.

“Hey Xig, big changes coming?” Roxas called up. The tall man turned, his expression relaxed and a shrug already forming. Roxas noted how Demyx seemed to zone in on every little detail; the hazel color of his visible eye, the scar running from jaw to cheek…the eyepatch.

“There better not be, there’s only so much we can adapt to, right?” he was saying, Demyx’ eyes remaining glued to him. Roxas wondered if Demyx even realized what he was doing so he coughed gently, making Demyx jump as he snapped unpleasantly back into the moment.

“Changes? What?” he squeaked and grew a little pink. The other man, whose full name just happened to be Xigbar, laughed good naturedly, hopping down from the stage.

“Jumpy, aren’t we? You’ll do fine, don’t worry. If things go the way they’re going, you’re our last big change. A welcome change too, right? We been needing a guitarist for…well…”

“At least 3 weeks?”

“Take my stage manager license, I failed,” Xigbar sighed theatrically, rubbing a hand over his neck. Roxas snorted while Demyx couldn’t seem to be able to do much but mouth slightly. Xigbar blinked before shooting Roxas a look.

“Is he alright?”

“Shell shock, I think,” Roxas chuckled before gently nudging his friend, “earth to Demyx.”

“Ah! I’m sorry. I’m just…wow…I uh…I never really expected to get a call-back, you know. It’s a huge honor and I just…keep thinking I’m dreaming or something.”

Xigbar grinned a very toothy grin, clapping a hand on Demyx’ shoulder. “Well, it’s an honor to have you on board. If you need anything, I’m the man to ask. And don’t you go worrying about getting stuff, you hear? That’s my job.”

“You got it,” Demyx said in what Roxas could tell was a very forced calm voice, knowing full well that he was probably dying a little on the inside. Xigbar didn’t seem to catch the nerves or if he did, he didn’t point it out. His smile remained before he snapped his fingers.

“Which reminds me, you’re gonna need some stuff, hang on,” he said before hopping back on the stage and disappearing for a little. Demyx gave Roxas a look.

“Roxas…oh my god.”

“Well…you did say you had a thing for guys with long hair,” Roxas chuckled. Demyx groaned, hiding behind his hands.

“Oh my god…”

Peering over, Roxas could just barely see the pink of Demyx’ cheeks through his parted fingers and he couldn’t help but smile. What an interesting but almost expected development, he thought just as Xigbar re-emerged from backstage, hefting both a clipboard and a medium sized binder in his arms. Roxas didn’t wait for him to say anything, dragging Demyx over as the rest of the cast and crew gathered back around.

“Alright, alright, guys, we have some notes to go through before getting started. Today’s gonna be a little different since we have a brand new guitarist and all, so we gotta help him get comfy,” Xigbar said with only a brief glance from his clipboard, Roxas nudging Demyx in the ribs. Demyx let out the tiniest of whines but kept his face as composed as he possibly could as Xigbar ran through their needed changes before handing the binder to Demyx, “that’ll be your sheet music. The script is in there too. Today, we’ll take things slower than normal, just to get you situated.”

“T…thank you.”

Xigbar grinned his toothy grin and Roxas just KNEW Demyx was in deep. And so rehearsals went…decent enough. Roxas could only keep Demyx company for so long, strapping on his headset and ambling off to go about his regular business. Every now and then, he’d peer into the orchestra pit, spotting Demyx with a guitar in his lap, eyes glued to his sheet music. He had a feeling then, that this would go just fine.

It was late when they got out of rehearsals, and Roxas, even though he was tired, shot Axel a text of _Hey, wanna do something?_

He wasn’t sure if he expected a response or not but he did eventually get one after a few minutes of blearily staring at his phone.

_Yeah, come over, I’m making food._

Roxas blinked at his phone. Come over, it had said. As in…come over to Axel’s apartment. This would be the first time in a few weeks that they’d be alone in a non-public place. Axel’s apartment…Roxas swallowed thickly, licking his lips. Oh wow.

 _I’ll be over in 15,_ he replied eventually, stashing his phone after Axel sent him his address and bee-lining for the subway. Axel’s apartment…wow…Roxas wasn’t even sure what he expected but regardless of that, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t excited. Actual alone time with Axel in his own apartment. It would be a great way to end this long, and incredibly busy day and Roxas relished the idea of just spending time with Axel let alone what that time could possibly bring.

Axel answered the door with a bright grin and a flash of red plaid before Roxas collapsed forward against him, face burying in his chest. Said chest rumbled as Axel chuckled, backing up into the room and closing the door with his foot.

“Long day, huh?”

“I’m dying, Axel,” Roxas wheezed in response, making Axel laugh once more.

“Don’t you meme at me in my own home, you’re an adult.”

Roxas groaned in response, swatting at Axel’s hand as Axel pinched him. “Awww, come on, Rox.”

“Dying.”

“Well, can you die later? I made chicken and I’ll be more than a little bummed if you die before you try it.”

Roxas sighed theatrically but finally unglued himself from where he pressed against Axel. “Alright, alright. I’ll die after.”

“Better than now, I guess,” Axel chuckled, finally stepping back and letting Roxas look around the place. It was a nice apartment, especially spacy for New York City with built-in book shelves on either side of the entrance hall. Books on books on filmmaking and art lined those shelves and Roxas spotted Axel’s bike propped against the far wall. If he was a stranger man, he would honestly thank that bike for essentially being the catalyst for bringing them together. Roxas smiled to himself, carefully toeing off his shoes before Axel’s hand wrapped around his own, dragging him down the hall.

“I’d ask how your day was but the dying is answer enough,” Axel teased with a smile before ushering Roxas to wash his hands while he set the table. Roxas himself, felt a smidge bad for springing this on Axel so suddenly so the apology left his lips almost as soon as he came back from the bathroom. Axel waved it off.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said easily, “I’m glad you’re here. Sides, you know I’m here for you, right?”

He said all this so easily that Roxas was once again blown away by just how lucky he was.

“You really ARE a rainbow unicorn, Axel,” he chuckled at last and Axel beamed, letting out a neigh in response as he served dinner.

“You’re just lucky that I always make extra. Otherwise you’d be shit out of luck, pal.”

“Mmm, guess I’d just sit in the corner and stare at you as you ate.”

“Ah yes, the best way to have dinner,” Axel snickered, sliding Roxas his plate and glass of water, “with a hungry boyfriend lurking in the wings.”

Roxas snickered just as his stomach let out a loud, a not-at-all subtle growl. God, he hadn’t even realized just how hungry he was and the smells emanating from his plate were fantastic.

Axel’s grin was wide. “Eat,” he urged before flopping down at the other stool with his own plate and drink. Roxas, who didn’t really need much urging beyond that, dug in hungrily. It all smelled fantastic; Axel having made some kind of Italian chicken and potatoes and tasted just as good as it smelled. Roxas let out a hum as he chewed, letting his eyes close for a moment.

“Man… you cook, and film and make art and say smart, supportive things. Is there anything you can’t do?” Roxas asked after he swallowed, making Axel snort.

“There’s a huge list, and only my dad knows most of it.”

Roxas laughed at that, taking another bite. “My cousin Naminé said that you sound like someone who’d like…be in a rock band,” he said after swallowing and just barely caught Axel’s cheeky grin.

“Shit, is she onto me? I thought I hid my double life well.”

Roxas let out a low “pfffttt” at that, eyeing Axel over his plate. “Were you though?”

“In high school, and through parts of tech school…yeah.”

“You’re like…a self-fulfilling prophecy, Axel. You get named ‘Axel’ and then start doing all these cool things.”

“What can I say, it’s a name to live up to.”

“What did you play, then?”

“Drums.”

“Huh…I woulda pegged you as a guitar player or something.”

Axel snickered. “Nah, my hands aren’t that coordinated for the frets. I’m a mess on guitar.”

Roxas laughed, trying to imagine Axel fumbling his way through a guitar solo and the image was simultaneously endearing and funny enough to plaster an almost permanent smile on Roxas’ face. Axel snorted.

“So, how’s the theater stuff going?” he asked part-way through dinner, Roxas pulling his glass away from his lips to consider.

“Demyx joined the band and almost immediately got a crush on our stage manager.”

“Wow, your friend doesn’t waste any time, does he?” Axel chuckled incredulously and Roxas grinned.

“Not everybody has the weird luck of bumping into the person they’re crushing on, on the subway.”

“No, I’d imagine it’s almost better luck if it’s at work.”

“Mmm, he’s lucky there’s no rules against dating coworkers in the theater industry.”

“Aren’t there?”

Roxas considered, taking another sip of water. “Not as far as I know. Otherwise I can think of several people who are shit out of luck, dating wise.”

Axel snorted, quieting as he let Roxas eat, Roxas himself absorbed in his own hunger for a few minutes at least. When his plate was finally emptied and his stomach full, he leaned back, letting out a satisfied groan and making Axel laugh.

“Not terrible then?”

“That was delicious, thank you!”

“I’m glad,” Axel said and both his voice and his expression were incredibly soft, “I’m also just glad that you came over. Today has been a _day._ ”

“For you too, huh?”

“Ugh, new management never knows what they’re doing,” Axel sighed as he hefted himself to stand, starting to clear the table. Roxas hopped up as well, quickly scooping up his plate and insisting on helping with cleanup while ignoring all of Axel’s protests to the contrary.

It was an hour later that found them relaxing on Axel’s couch, Roxas resting his head in Axel’s lap while Axel’s fingers idly combed through Roxas’ mess of hair, the TV murmuring in the background.

“Hey Axel…”

“Hmm?”

“Thanks.”

“For what? For dinner? You already thanked me,” Axel snickered. Roxas rolled his eyes at him.

“Not just for dinner.”

“Well…uh…you’re welcome?”

Roxas considered for a few moments, catching Axel’s free hand with both of his own and letting his fingers trace the back of it thoughtfully. “I just…I dunno…I’m glad I found you…” he said a bit weakly, letting his eyes dart up to Axel’s face, studying it from his upside-down angle.

Axel blinked. “You okay?”

“…Yeah…I think so…just…stressed. And it’s just…nice to have someone, you know? Even if I’m awful at the whole ‘dating’ thing.”

Axel couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re perfectly fine at the dating thing, trust me. And the embarrassed floundering is cute.”

Roxas huffed. “I haven’t done that in like a week!”

“Not that you’ve noticed, anyway,” Axel teased.

“Wait…really? Am I still doing it?” he breathed, making Axel laugh.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding, you’re doing just fine, I promise. Just…you know…I think you gotta learn to take the time when you have it. You seem to always be going and doing and going and doing and that can’t be healthy.”

Roxas sighed, eyes darting from Axel’s face back to his hand. “Not much time TO take. It’s getting closer and closer to premier and we’re getting down to the wire,” he said, looking back at Axel again to find him frowning slightly.

“Fair, I guess. I’m just glad you found some time today…”

“God, me too.”

A comfortable silence passed between them while the TV continued to murmur, Axel’s fingers ever gentle in Roxas’ hair.

“Hey, Axel?”

“Hmm?”

“Come to the premier.”

“I mean, I’d absolutely love to.”

“I’ll get you a ticket. You should definitely come.”

Axel snickered, careful fingers idly skating over Roxas’ forehead. “You never did tell me what the play ACTUALLY is,” he pointed out. Roxas let out a tiny ‘whoops.’

“Oh…haha, I thought I did. We’re bringing Hadestown to Broadway.”

“Oh, no way!” Roxas peered up to see the blinding grin on Axel’s face, “that soundtrack is incredible! I’m sold!”

Roxas laughed. “Well, good. Consider yourself there.”

“Well dang, Roxas, if I knew what play it was I would have used you as a hookup way earlier,” Axel teased, making Roxas ‘pffft’ and pinch his hand.

“I’m gonna retract that offer if you’re not careful, mister.”

“Right, right, sorry,” Axel chuckled, gently booping Roxas’ nose and making him grimace.

“A-xeeeel,” Roxas whined.

“Ro-xaaaas,” Axel whined back, his grin blinding.

God, Roxas thought, he really was beautiful…

Swallowing thickly, Roxas let his hand leave Axel’s, carefully reaching up to caress his cheek. Axel blinked.

“Roxas…”

“Mmm?”

“You keep saying that I’m quite something but you’re something special, Roxas,” Axel said and his voice was soft, leaning into Roxas’ touch. Roxas swallowed, thumb carefully skating over Axel’s cheek, watching the red head’s eyes close. When they opened again, his gaze locked with Roxas’.

“I’m glad you said yes, Roxas. I honestly thought you’d turn around and punch me in my dumb face.”

Roxas snorted. “First of all, your face is NOT dumb. It’s a beautiful face. Second of all, of course I said yes, you big dummy, I’ve had a crush on you for…an…undisclosed amount of time.”

Axel grinned but it was still gentle, pressing into Roxas’ touch. “That’s really embarrassing for you,” he teased, snorting as Roxas pinched his cheek.

“I regret telling you things,” Roxas grumbled, making Axel laugh, leaning so he hovered just above Roxas now.

“Do you?”

Roxas swallowed. “Yeah.”

“You sure?” he asked, and he was leaning closer now, his eyes giving the briefest of dashes to Roxas’ lips. Roxas licked them.

“Like…80% sure,” he said slowly, fingers pressing to Axel’s cheek as Axel seemed to move even closer.

“So much for that conviction.”

“I’m about to raise that percentage if you’re not careful, mister,” Roxas shot back but there was no bite to his words. Axel was so close now, he could feel his breath on his cheeks and Roxas’ heart hammered in his chest, his stomach doing backflips.

“Cheeky…”

“Mhm…”

Axel paused for a moment, a careful hand pressing first to the back of Roxas’ own before moving down to gently caress Roxas’ cheek. “Roxas…”

“Hm?”

“You should probably stop me…” he whispered.

“…What...if I don’t want to..?”

“Then I might kiss you,” Axel said in a whisper and Roxas shivered despite himself, eyes trained on Axel’s.

“Please do,” he breathed in response and Axel couldn’t help but smirk ever so softly, breaching those last couple of inches between them to press his lips to Roxas’. Roxas let out a small noise into it; not so much surprise as it was relief, his eyes closing. And god Axel’s lips were soft and tasted a bit of cherry from his Chapstick and Roxas couldn’t ever imagine kissing any other lips but his. Roxas let his lips part just slightly and his hand move from Axel’s cheek to the back of his neck, burying in the loose strands of hair that had escaped from Axel’s bun.

And Axel kissed oh so gently, tentative at first, still afraid to breach any boundary that might make Roxas uncomfortable and Roxas was simultaneously amused, slightly annoyed and more than a little gratified that Axel took so much care. But still, he wouldn’t have minded something more…something deeper…and let his lips part, letting his tongue join the kiss much to Axel’s seeming surprise.

After a few moments they had to pull apart for air and Roxas quickly hefted himself to sit, turning to comfortably settle in Axel’s lap instead, throwing his arms around Axel’s shoulders. “Do that again,” he said.

Axel grinned, his lips a bit red. “Gladly,” he said and pulled Roxas in for a second kiss.

Roxas welcomed that kiss just as gladly as he did the first one, pressing into Axel as much as he could allow himself, one hand tangled in that very messy bun, the other gently stroking at Axel’s cheek. And god Axel’s arm was around his waist now and god his other hand was practically on his ass and god…maybe they shouldn’t push too far tonight.

But god…Roxas had wanted to kiss Axel for so long and it was so gratifying to finally be able to. Axel’s tongue made Roxas shiver, letting out a small sound into the kiss. Eventually, they broke apart once more, panting a little for air. Axel inhaled deep. “We should…probably call it at that for tonight,” he said after licking his lips and Roxas hummed his agreement, head dipping down to rest on Axel’s shoulder.

“Yeah…”

“Hey Rox…”

“Mmmm?”

“You can…stay tonight if you want…no funny business or anything just…stay…it would be…nice…”

Roxas considered. He hadn’t brought any change of clothes or anything…and if he stayed that would mean leaving super early tomorrow to go home and change and… “I’d love to…” he whispered almost right in Axel’s ear and felt Axel shiver beneath him.

“Good…”

“Mmm…”

“Hey Rox…”

“Mmmm..?”

“You’re incredible…”

Roxas couldn’t help but chuckle softly, nuzzling into Axel’s neck. “So are you,” he muttered and felt so incredibly safe and comfortable that staying overnight was suddenly the only right decision he could make that night.

They went to sleep a little late but Roxas couldn’t really care less, wearing Axel’s pj pants and rather oversized shirt to bed. He felt so remarkable cozy, enveloped in the smell and feel of Axel that sleep came far easier than usual, feeling Axel’s chest pressing to his back and Axel’s arms around his waist.

God, Roxas thought, he had definitely made the right decision. On many levels. Roxas smiled.

“Good night, Roxas,” Axel breathed into his ear, pressing a light kiss to it.

Roxas chuckled sleepily, both hands resting against Axel’s. “Good night, Axel…” he muttered and drifted off almost immediately, his dreams full of the ocean and joy-filled laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *angrily sings Hadestown songs* can I just say that because I decided that Roxas was gonna be working on an actual play that actually just recently premiered, it helped me stay inspired on this fic during the month I haven't been able to write. Also, while I haven't seen it on Broadway yet, boy howdy is it incredible and I highly recommend listening to the off-Broadway soundtrack. It's so fuuucking goooooooooood (and boy howdy is the title of this chapter a Hadestown song)
> 
> in my world Xigbar will always be a good egg and no amount of bullshit from Square will convince me otherwise. also, Demyx is a huge gay disaster, pass it on. 
> 
> thank you for reading! comments and kudoes always much appreciated! hope this chapter was decent enough lol


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